Sorry to hear about the speech problem; and I can relate to the hostility problem (It’s why I try to understand others rather than freak-out and get nasty, although I’m not perfect at it).

Unironically, the reason I don’t curse is because it helps me speak better and focus on the emotions (that I’ve) that aren’t so clear to me. Cursing - from my point of view - can get in the way of understanding and engagment of speech & emotions.

As for picking one or the other, let me try to put the shower thought in one sentence, since I seem to have lost the original point, somewhere in having these coversations:

Cursing is uncreative & tends to be use as filler words.

Maybe it’s too obvious to people that they assumed more than needed (the - “there’s always something better to say,” probably didn’t help, I’ll admit that.)

I genuinely thought it was intersting idea, since I’ve used them as filler words & I heard others do it too.

I noticing trends with the post, and - while responding - starting to see the can of worms I’ve opened up; I really thought this post would get something around 3 votes and 1 comment.

I understand and relate to most of speech ( and in art in general ) can boil down to personal preferences.

Speech to me can be a little bit more than that, but I’ll rest my case here.

Thanks for the support.

One thing about the offensive language.

Swear words are offensive by nature. I not sure how to write an example of a bad basic swear-word example without it being tagged as offensive.

This further adds to my point that swears are lazy and can mean anything to anyone.

If I can make a suggestion; can we mark it as nsfw or mark the post as having offensive language?

Otherwise, give a swear-word I can use that’s safe to use, and I’ll try to make it work.

Thank you for reading. Hope you’ve a great day.

For the first point, I fail to see how cursing dosen’t show your anger, if it’s going to be used to blow off steam. People have curse absent-mindedly when angry, I’d know, I’ve done it before. What good is this emotional intelligence if it’s going to give you the same results as if a person without it when in conversation?

The thinking of cursing being the method to use (with the understanding that we’re thinking of affective methods - not just punch someone in the face) doesn’t sit right. I understand getting angry (we all been there), however, you’ll be surprise in the power of taking a couple seconds to think it through.

When you think you have to say the thing that pops into your head right away, it ends up being ineffctive for commucation & won’t let others see the emotional intelligence that you’ve.

I know this seems to be a meme, but meditation & being mindful of your surroundings has help me “let out steam.” I also work on improving myself, when you try to remove curse words, you can find where you feel you need to say it and thus work on methods to help with that. When I think of emotional intelligence, I think of understanding the emotions you’ve & not letting them control your actions (think stoiticism).

For the second point, this only works when you can leave the situation and not have to worry about the consequences; it’s not going to work with cops, it’s also not going to work well for family (I’d know, having my christain grandma say f-you to me isn’t fun); I, in fact, find it hard to think of consequence-free moments for it.

For the third point, I see that depending on context, it’ll work, then it should work for wit, no? I fail to find the difference between wit and swearing for communication outside of it being easier to curse. If the point is cursing is faster & easier, then you’ve a point, but I’m thinking you meant something else or something more. Even for expressing anger, I find the clam looking anger to be more emotionally intelligent than throwing out a curse word that even a child can do when having a meltdown.

It’s all good, I still feel a little bit sleep deprived right now.

It’s less so looking down on people and more so viewing cursing as you said a crutch.

I guess that’s on me for spilling the smug jar on my post (gotta put it somewhere better).

I also don’t really mind curses, it’s just not as great as a good insult.

I’d know, I had a few months where swear-words were all I’ve said & I look back and find it kinda cringy.

Hope this clears things up.

I appreciate the examples and the info.

If you don’t mind I want to borrow your rain example for the post, with credit of course ;).

As for the insult sting ability, I understand that if your going to make a sentence long insult then cursing dosen’t seem to weaken it’s effect, others brought up that it doesn’t hurt the insult if swears are used.

I also understand that being offended can be subjective.

I just find that if your going to try to be cunning with words, why give somone the ability to say “You mad bro?”

It’s harder & more biting to think of the words where they’ve to think about whats said than having it morph into a shouting match or something along those lines.

For the second point. Maybe I’m just terminally online, but it seems as if everyone curses & only knows how to curse. When I see a true insult it’s as if a breath of fresh-air & it usally stops the other guy in their tracks for a bit. It also has the funny factor for me, but I’m willing to accept that it’s my own view on humor.

Outside of christian mom’s or people saying not to curse here for: advertisers to feel safe or because it’s inappropriate to say it in front of children, my experience is the lemmys down-voting me & saying I’m wrong seem to be the norm for people.

Again, I understand where you arrive from, policing speach isn’t cool & people end up doing it for a reason, usually for offensive speech that hurts people. I just find curse words to mean anything & everything, & I just don’t find it that hurtful. For example, I live with Jehovah’s witnesses that curse. I had my mom curse at me when I was little. It just seems to be “I’m angry” written edgyly if it has emotion at all.

Hope you understand what I mean, if not, let me know.

Yea I get what you mean, Thanks.

Inregards to the flawed example, how is it flawed?

I’m getting cooked over here, anything will help.

If cursing makes you feel more adult then be my guest.

To me it’s more immature to curse than to point out that cursing won’t hold the weight of a good insult.

I understand that using swear words don’t take away from the remark, in the same way that someone’s point isn’t discounted because they used the word “like” more than needed.

As for the second point, I cannot think of one other then maybe a movie quote since the words choosen got popular due to the context of the movie (or any media).

That to me is more of a movie good than the phrase is great, but I can be wrong about that (I’m just not sure how).

For the 1st point, all I read is that smart people curse, & I’m on a high-horse for pointing out cursing isn’t that creative.

You don’t seem to refute that cursing isn’t super creative, so I fail to see the counter argument here.

And if you going to say that I’m condescending for what was stated, then guilty as charge, I guess.

For the sencond point, read again what you wrote me. I see “smart people are more likely to use curse words.”

That doesn’t state when nor to what degree do they curse.

Also my point is that there’s better words to use then swear words, I fail to see how it’s suppose to matter that smart people use swear words.

Again I ask, does it make the swear word more intellient because someone smart says it as oppose to a witty remark?

The best speakers tend to not use them if we’re going to bring who says what in this.

3rd point, clichés exist for a reason. I hope that after you let out the steam (probably by cursing), you can see how - even in your rage - you thought of insults instead of cursing. Would hate to think it would show you as lacking brain power than the smart people cursing away somewhere.

Ok, I understand what you’re saying, saying “f you” is faster & easier.

2 (now 3) points I want to make:

1. I getting this sense that instead of speaking to someone, it’s to let off steam. As you put it, “it’s cathartic to say.” I find that telling of a weak character to need to blow off steam because of a conversation they’re having.

2. Since cursing usally indicates aggression, I can’t help but think if you are short on time then making people feel aggression is not the smart thing to-do.

3. Cursing is just as impercise as using wit. I don’t know how it helps other than maybe show rage in a spit-second responce, but people have said “f you” in different kinds of context for different kinds of affects. At that point intead of “f you”, you can say “leave if you going to say such trash.” You could be more direct than using some vague swear word.

I guess don’t know how to break it to you that saying “f you” is not creative without being on a high horse then.

Also, speaking of cope. To say that a person using curse words instead of a witty remark is somehow smart cause smart people use curse words doesn’t sound right but I don’t how else to interpret the ETA you made.

Then, to curse is to show that you’re a wimp.

Anti-cursing for the win, baby.

/s

I get what you mean, however that last paragraph seems to be mistaking something.

I was showing how saying “fat-f**k” is shallow than the more biting “don’t get up, I know you haven’t done it in years.” It’s meant as a comparison.

I’m just a tiny-bit tired so maybe I need to rephrase it again, but I hope I made my point.

I think there’re better words to use. “Appropriate” makes it sound as if I’m a nanny or something; I don’t care about appropriate, I care about if the phrase made an impact. There’s not much impact in swearing other than (maybe) showing anger.

Depends on the situation.

Edit:

To replace one word for another would be the same as saying the f word is now written & pronounce as “zulk”.

Yea, because it’s easy; just as saying f you is nothing more than a brainless task, lacking any depth.

Maybe I miswrote it. I mean that choosing from a wheel the 1 out of 7 words to use, isn’t as clever as thinking of an insult that stings. I agree that cursing doesn’t take away, it just isn’t needed.

You’ve my sencerest condolences.

That sounds as if a punch-line that an alien trying to learn how to be human would have in a comedy.

In what way does it add emotion? I’ve heard people say “f you” to mean all different kinds of emotions. I find it hard to believe that saying “I’m f-ing sad” is more emotional than taking time to think it though and get something such as this “I think losing a family member would hurt less than what I’m feeling right now.”

I disagree with “polite” words having no emotion. Tell me you don’t get anything from this sentence “Go to hell, you subhuman pest.”

I think the tone & emphasis matters more than selecting some curse word. When I wrote the sentence, I was thinking the “subhuman pest” part was biting since it would be said in a sharp snapping tone & conveys more info than a swear word.