(Reddits idiotic broken filters kept taking htis down)
I have so much hatred and vitorol against PC gamers/rich nerds for how they just enable and ignore all of the massive flaws that come with PC gaming and act as if nothing’s wrong. It gets so bad, I end up ranting and if it escalates to an argument, during those arguments I engage out of anger and sometimes just to dehumanize them and say cruel things I’d end up regretting because it becomes a fucked up outlet for me. I hate sharing this world with them for some reason much like I do with evil people, and I think its my fault for doing enabling of my own and letting this type of hatred escalate nonstop.
It becomes a game for me at some point to see how deep I can make it. Its been going on for years, and even back then, I’d actively provoke toxic/annoying members of the gaming community who I felt weren’t hated enough, using ASPD type tactics.
This is not your ADHD, this is some sort of antisocial behaviour, maybe driven on by one or more (maybe undiagnosed) personality disorders. I’d recommend at least getting checked by a professional in the field (psychiatrist perhaps, depending on your country) so you can find out what is driving this behaviour, and then you can make a decision on whether you want to address it or not. Knowledge is power and knowing more about yourself is helpful, regardless whether you decide to address it or not.