About 3 years ago I dreamt that I was in a downtown Chicago office interviewing for a fancy new job. For whatever reason my mom came along for the interview and was patiently waiting for me in the office lobby. About half way through the interview it began to dawn on me that my mom passed away over a decade ago. This realization effectively transformed my dream into a lucid one. I quickly ditched the interview, grabbed my mom, and we spent the rest of the day enjoying downtown Chicago. I took her out for tea, caught her up on my life, and we made the absolute most of the little time we had together.
The memories from this dream are as vivid as the memories from my real life and I treasure them dearly.
Just the other day I had a dream about my wife and I hiking in the Pyrenees mountains. It had been her wish to one day visit them again as she grew up in a small town sorrounding them. She often went there with her family in her youth but never managed to do a full adventure hike along the southern ridge. Before she passed away I had made a promise to her that we would make an effort to see them one last time. Her illness progressed more rapidly than we could have anticipated and alas I was not able to keep my promise. That dream made me feel nostalgic for her presence again and in some way I believe it offered some solace for my regrets of dissapointing her.
I don’t want to come across as if I know better, but I would like to offer an alternate view.
You might not have kept that promise, but you’ve kept many others, which might be more important than that.
It is easy to feel down on that one missed promise while many more were kept. We are human after all and some promises are broken.
Life is an infinite series of missed opportunity. It seems dark, but to me, it’s comforting because I don’t have that obsession that I need to do everything in fear of missing out anymore. I can feel more in the present and enjoy all the memories I create with my loved ones.
And more than that, knowing that many opportunities will be missed because of the nature of life, I can enjoy the opportunities I do have more because I know I’ve made time for them.
You’ve made time for many opportunities with your wife. Be proud of that.
I want to offer you my sincerest condolences and I hope that life is treating you right.
Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. Cherishing the moments we have with our loved ones represents the moments that are most important, I agree. It was comforting to see her again and to somewhat be held true to my word, in some way. I wish you all the best. Keep well my friend.