Pretty sure Uber will just rig the robots with C4 when someone tries to steal the food. And then monetize the video of it on you tube. And garnish the cost of maintaining the deceased persons tombstone.
Later, Uber would be sued for not actually providing the tombstones and for over-charging for them when they were provided.
They would counter that they had contracted a third party, X, to provide the tombstones, on behalf of the deceased, and had merely paid the invoices on the deceaseds’ behalfs, and that X, not Uber, would be liable for any failure to provide said tombstones or to have over-billed for them.
Years later, Uber would “lose” the case and would be ordered to send $3.50 to anyone who had sent them payments for tombstones between the years of 2024 and 2026, and $43.8 million to the attorneys on the case. They would also be required to set up a free tombstone check account for anyone who requested one in lieu of that payment, but they would only give 30 days to claim the account and would send it with a spammy sounding title like “Claim your free account now!” ensuring that only 4% of the eligible people actually managed to claim one.
Overall Uber will have made $418 million profit from their burial and tombstone billing service.
Pretty sure Uber will just rig the robots with C4 when someone tries to steal the food. And then monetize the video of it on you tube. And garnish the cost of maintaining the deceased persons tombstone.
They should sue the families for lost robot productivity too
Later, Uber would be sued for not actually providing the tombstones and for over-charging for them when they were provided.
They would counter that they had contracted a third party, X, to provide the tombstones, on behalf of the deceased, and had merely paid the invoices on the deceaseds’ behalfs, and that X, not Uber, would be liable for any failure to provide said tombstones or to have over-billed for them.
Years later, Uber would “lose” the case and would be ordered to send $3.50 to anyone who had sent them payments for tombstones between the years of 2024 and 2026, and $43.8 million to the attorneys on the case. They would also be required to set up a free tombstone check account for anyone who requested one in lieu of that payment, but they would only give 30 days to claim the account and would send it with a spammy sounding title like “Claim your free account now!” ensuring that only 4% of the eligible people actually managed to claim one.
Overall Uber will have made $418 million profit from their burial and tombstone billing service.
And everything was above board. The system works.