Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

This is actually a neurological thing. It has a name and everything (though I can’t recall what the name is). A lot of people on the spectrum have it. You may want to talk to a therapist about it, if this isn’t merely hyperbole.

I hated children until I had friends who are great parents and have great kids. I found out that I hate shitty parents, not kids. You can’t turn this comment into actionable life advice, I’m afraid.

See a shrink you have at minimum anger management problems being triggered here. Anxiety and perhaps some form of neurological disorder if you’re sensitive to loud noises in general but it’s worth finding out to manage it.

Are you a cat?

No judgement, just curious: I know it’s more rare, but do you get the same visceral reaction to grown people throwing immature temper tantrums as well? Or is it limited to just the very young?

I just want to understand if this is more of a distaste for immaturity or if it’s only the immaturity of the immature that’s giving you that feeling.

I’m no fan of kids, but I don’t get this kind of rage myself. I can dismiss myself from the situation long before I struggle with these kinds of feelings.

The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

Yeah, that’s actually a thing for some people to various degrees.

It’s called misophonia

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24460-misophonia

I had it for high pitched sounds as well, went on Beta Blockers for migraines and it fixed this as well.

The noises are triggering your adrenal response and your body is screaming at you that the noise has to stop and it doesn’t matter what it takes. Beta blockers block adrenaline, so now noises that used to set me on edge are just normal noises to me.

I think one of the current hypothesis is that it might be close to a sound that would attract predators, but sometimes wires get crossed and you have the reaction to a random noise.

Most commonly it’s people hating the sound of others chewing.

I was a little like that until I had a kid myself. Much less than you perhaps, but I didn’t have fun with kids, I never knew what to do, what to tell them, and I would be very unforgiving with kids who are cheating or lying for fun.

I always thought that when you have one, yours is different.

When i meet my soulmate, I knew she would be an awesome mother and it helped me retain some faith. We ended up having a boy who is now 4 and a half.

I must admit, I didn’t know I had this much patience in me. Still not knowing what the hell I’m doing but I lowered the bar as much as I could : he’s happy, and he’s fed.

Now it’s not always easy, and he tests my limits daily by pushing all the proper buttons. Sometimes I ask my girlfriend for an… Emergency relief.

But now I kinda understand how to enter children’s world. Doesn’t work with all of them, and sometimes I must adapt. I still have a hard time tolerating crying over nothing serious, but I found ways to go around that and give hugs.

I try to remind myself of old memories when I did some very similar things with I was a kid, sometimes I’m not very proud…

All in all, I’m not telling to have kids, but just to say it can change. I just happened to have taken the “hard way”, and I didn’t regret any of it.

By undergoing behavioral therapy.

What you are feeling is similar to how I used to feel. What changed was my understanding of children. A child behaves the way it does because it is literally experiencing things for the first time. That’s why they over react. They aren’t bad all the time. They can be more fun to be around then adults. They don’t care what you look like. They’re easy to impress and pal around with. And when they do act out it’s not nearly as serious as adults.

Welcome to Lemmy. Welcome to autism.

OP, don’t feel alone or hopeless. There are more of us out here who know exactly what you’re describing because we experience it ourselves.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that it’s your fault for experiencing this - there’s not much you can do to “fix” it, if anything. I’ve been to a therapist and medical professionals, and basically noise cancelling AirPods or ear plugs in public are the only solution. And maybe some medications.

We used to have neighbors with several small children who would - at the same time every day - go play in their backyard. Normal kid thing. But if I was outside, I’d have to go back in. The frequency or pitch or whatever you want to call it of the loud shrieks was literally painful. I would cry.

I see other replies saying it may be a factor of you not being able to express yourself in the same way as a child. I wasn’t either because my mom is terrified of the outside world & it would make her think I was in danger. Whether this played a role or not I have no idea. I don’t want to attribute it to purely psychological reasons when it sounds like there is potentially also an actual physical medical explanation. Maybe it’s a combination, maybe not. Who knows.

It’s a fact of life that IMO you cannot control and will have to have a plan for if and when it occurs. Earplugs, leaving the triggering situation, medication, I hope you find something that works. It is fucking painful. And I can’t control that. And it’s no one’s fault…we just try to avoid situations where young children will be present (which is really fucking hard at times for a woman, btw…baby showers! Parties where the women are expected to be the caretakers because….uterus, I suppose?).

Anyway, best of luck to you, it’s not your fault, and feel free to reach out any time.

Therapy. It’s clear this is causing you problems in your life. And that’s exactly what therapy is for.

Sounds like misophonia.

I just want to commend you on asking for help, and based on your post and replies, it sounds like you can at least offload the belief that you hate children, because it doesn’t seem that way, only that you’re very triggered by the noise, which I can totally relate to. It happens for me with kids and barking dogs, and I have to manage the sound with music and earbuds. Sound sensitivity and being stressed by it is very real for a number of conditions or conditioned mentalities, so I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself about it when it’s clear you’re empathetic and don’t want to feel that way, but seeking therapy with someone familiar with such reactions is probably a good idea. Though ultimately personal noise management may still be a big part of the solution.

That’s the fun part, you don’t!