I’m sort of in the same boat, except I’ve been diagnosed recently. I’m now on tablets, but am not sure that I want to be, and am trying to gauge whether they’re worth the side-effects. Too early to tell yet. My diagnosing doctor was pretty adamant that while non-pharmaceutical treatments exist, they’re an order of magnitude less effective than medication.

Diagnosis and medication for ADHD (and anxiety) was a huge benefit to me. Before I would want to do the dishes but not be able to. I’d go to the kitchen and the dishwasher would be full, so before I could do the dishes, I needed to empty the dishwasher, and before I could empty the dishwasher I needed to wash my hands and I’d get overwhelmed, not do dishes, and feel bad about it. I could empty the dishwasher if it’s what I planned on doing ahead of time, and if I started doing dishes I’d keep going stacking up dishes to wash even with the dishwasher full.

The very first day I had medication for ADHD (I’d had anxiety meds for a few weeks) I plowed through washing my hands, putting dishes away, doing dishes, went shopping for various things (I hate shopping), got winter bike pants so I could keep biking in the winter (it was already late November), and then eating dinner I got close to the end of my meal and just stopped because I didn’t want to eat anymore instead of finishing what I was eating because it’s what I was already doing.

Now when I don’t do dishes it’s because I don’t want to, not that I’m overwhelmed by it.

I still have anxiety and indecisiveness and avoidance of projects that are important to me, that somehow have my identity/ego tied up in them, or things like that. But I can do small things for myself now instead of only being able to do things for other people. Like @xmunk said it’s not solved for me, but things are much better.

Between getting treatment for ADHD and another medical condition I’ve lost about 10kg without even trying, I’m sure both treatments have contributed to it.

Besides getting medication, diagnosis is helpful because it’s easier to understand what’s happening. Even though I could tell myself “I know this isn’t normal” when I was overwhelmed or stressed out over seemingly nothing, part of me would be questioning if I wasn’t really just that lazy/inadequate. Now I know what’s going on and I still feel frustrated, and bad, but I’m more kind to myself about it.

I never even would have been able to make an appointment to get treatment if I hadn’t seen tons of ADHD memes on lemmy and realized, oh, maybe that’s not normal. Seeing people describe being on ADHD meds as easy mode and describing the things I struggled with as being hard. I saw something on facebook that said

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

And that really stuck with me. I also got the idea in my head that

I deserve to be able to do things for myself, not just for other people.

I also resolved before going to the appointment for ADHD that no matter what, whether that’s what I had, or I got medication, or if the medication worked, I was going to try to be kind to myself.

But I never would have even been able to make an appointment if another medical condition hadn’t escalated to literally feeling pins and needles and I made a bunch of appointments for other things when I made one for that. I didn’t make it specifically for ADHD, just some general complaint that I had some executive disorder and a description of what was happening.

The medicine helped me get rid of anxiety that plagued me for years. I’m more in control of my life than ever before. That’s why I did it.

I was diagnosed eighteen months ago. I knew I needed medication. It’s helped for sure but it hasn’t fixed everything and I am about to try a higher dose. Aside from the medication, I wanted to understand why I was different and why I had so many difficulties.

Everyone’s journey is different - just to preface this - for me medication doesn’t “solve” ADHD but it lets me climb out of obsessive spirals and indecisive slumps. I suggest that anyone with ADHD at least try medication… it doesn’t make you weak or anything, it’s an aide to allow some of us to function more like other people.

Depending on your country and stage in life a diagnosis may also make you eligible disability aide or accommodations. In most western countries (I’m not certain about the US) you can also request reasonable accommodations from your employer with a formal diagnosis without risking your job status.

Lastly, I simply think it’s helpful to understand yourself.

Diagnoses are a means to an end. If you aren’t interested in getting your insurance to pay for medication or something, it doesn’t really serve a purpose.

You can still work with a therapist to develop behavioral coping skills to counteract some of the potential symptoms you’ve noticed, diagnosis or not. (Your therapist will probably even give a working/preliminary diagnosis in your chart with them - it’s really not a big deal).

Some people find personal relief in getting the “label”, but even testing for ADHD is basically just confirming that the symptoms you self-report meet diagnostic criteria. It’s not concrete like a blood test, so most people who go in reporting symptoms come out with a diagnosis. If that appeals to you, go for it.

I served in the US Air Force for 20 years. You aren’t eligible for service with an ADHD diagnosis, but if you’re diagnosed after serving - and it’s not negatively affecting your job - you can contribute to serve.

I had suspected for many years that I had ADHD to some degree, and I decided to get an official diagnosis in my last year of service. The military doctors, of course, said there was no way I had it. After all, I had served almost 2 decades without any issues. But I insisted, so I got a referral to a civilian ADHD specialist for a diagnosis.

The specialist said I had one of the worst cases of ADHD she’d seen in her 11 years as a doctor.

It was recommended I get medication for it. But I have the hyperfocus type of ADHD and it actually made me very productive at work. While other people would get burnt out from staring at their computer screen all day, I could sit still and do menial, repetitive tasks without rest. I was highly efficient at work and rarely missed details.

I feel like medication would make me “normal,” and then I wouldn’t be very good at my job. So I’ve opted to stay unmedicated. But I’m glad I’m diagnosed, because it helps me to understand certain behaviors I have, and it’s good for my medical history. When I stress out and bury myself in work instead of tackling my problems, I know it’s because of ADHD and I could resolve it with medication if I needed to. It’s not just a personality quirk for me to overcome.

If you’re in a state with red flag laws, that might mean you wouldnt be able to fully enjoy your rights. Keep that in mind.