Honestly, I think everyone is a bit racist. When people don’t look or behave like you, it’s easy to treat them differently, sometimes a lot differently.
I work with people from a variety of backgrounds (race, language, nationality) and I’m married to someone with a different race, language, and nationality as well. Even so, when I read articles online, I picture the other person as my race, background, and gender, even though that’s unlikely to be the case. I also catch myself thinking less of someone who is different from me, before I catch myself and really think about what they said/did (usually it’s just the accent or mannerisms throwing me off).
I think that’s normal, and you’re doing the right thing by acknowledging it and trying to catch yourself. The next step that works for me is to build trust with my co-workers who are different from me, and ask them if I’m being insensitive or something. It takes time to build that trust, but my spouse calls me out all the time and I express my gratitude each time. I still make mistakes, but hopefully those around me know I don’t mean anything by it. I also catch my spouse being racist, and they’re a bit more defensive about it but appreciative nonetheless.
Good luck! Life is all about continually improving ourselves. I don’t think we’ll ever reach a point where racism is dead, but hopefully we can get to a point where it’s at least manageable.
I think you are describing biases, which we do indeed all have. They don’t (necessarily) make you racist, they make you human. The folks who refuse to make any attempt to acknowledge that (or who openly revel in it), and won’t do the work to mitigate those biases - those are the racists and bigots.
Right. I’m just saying that statements can be racist, but that doesn’t necessarily make me racist because it all comes down to intent. I want people to call me out because it’s not my intention to say racist things.
Being able to sit with discomfort is key to teaching oneself to be better. The hardest part is realising that there’s never a point where you have fixed the problem and can relax - the deeper you dig, the more things you find to be uncomfortable about.
Good on you for noticing, and not just going ‘meh it’s how I am’, ‘it’s how I was raised’ or a bajillion other cop outs.
Realizing you need to change, having the impetus to do so, and actually rolling up your sleeves and fucking doing something about it are three very difficult things to do. Their difficulty increases as you proceed down the path from realization to action.
It isn’t easy. You’ll fall on your face several times; you may not ever even reach your goal, but eventually you’ll look over your shoulder at the person you were and realize how far you have come.
That’s sure a lot better feeling than sitting there doing sweet fuck all about it.
Being racist is ephemeral. People can choose to keep being racist, or choose to stop being racist. The OP chose to stop being racist.
The thing you can’t teach or train, is self-inflection. If you don’t have that, you’ll likely be locked in on whatever self-discovery path you’re on right now, for the rest of your life. If it’s a good path, you’re ok. If it’s not tho, you’re like an Elon Musk, who lacks empathy for self-inflection and will likely continue down this path forever, as the OP suggests, until Musk indeed realizes that he’s a racist.
At that point, Musk can continue to be a racist, knowingly, in the open, or he can choose to change, like OP.
Some opinions are worth changing. Someone clearly thought OP was worth it, and it seems they were right.
You can believe that to be true, and I suppose you really could be that enlightened. But most people have some degree of implicit bias, and it is wise to be aware of this and to actively challenge our own biases.
I read MonsierPatEBrown’s comment as similar to your first sentence here, but it took them 35+ years to recognize they do have stigmas towards black people that they’re now working on. That’s an accomplishment many people will never achieve tbh.
Sure, you can and should if you’re aware of the challenge and care enough to combat those biases. It might feel like second nature for some, but it can also be like a muscle that needs to be exercised for others. It sounds like they’re trying to do so now, and that kind of growth should be encouraged imo.
Considering how many people will either assume they’re open minded enough already without really reflecting on if there’s room for improvement or actively go out of their way to treat others like they’re inferior, I don’t see the value in dragging other folks down for attempting to be more conscientious towards others. Who knows - maybe another future former racist will read their comment and come to the same realization.
Part of my journey of self-discovery was realizing that people are not good or evil. The people generally doing evil things, are not doing them because they believe they’re evil, or the people they’re serving are evil.
Everyone believes they’re in the right, for one reason or another. And everyone believes they’re on the side of good. It’s like competing religions, they all think they’re “right”.
Someone like Trump’s motivations aren’t evil, even though it manifests as evil through the people that listen to and support him. Trump’s just a selfish, narcissistic dick who will step on, over, through, or kill anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants, and what he wants is to be constantly catered to, pleased, made happy, and be given what he wants and told how great he is all the time. That’s it.
The people that support him aren’t evil. They’re racist dickheads mainly, but they’re not evil. They’re scared of what they don’t understand and they’re angry at a changing world they don’t fit in and they want things to go back to a time when the color of their skin was good enough to guarantee that they had a stable life.
The truth is nobody gets that sort of life anymore. Not PoC, not Straight White CIS males, not anyone. The Billionaires and Oligarch have stolen that from us. From all of us. They are the real enemy. Not each other. They’ve spent a considerable part of their wealth over the years convincing us that the different kinds of us are the problem. It’s not a political issue, it’s not a race issue, it’s an education and class issue.
Those are the people we need to be angry at. Guys like the OP that were probably raised in a racist household, had racist friends, community influences, and traditions, actually breaking out of that and correcting it so that he’s working on addressing his systemic racist beliefs? Those guys are one in a million, literally, let me tell you.
I’ve been on the internet since Prodigy dial-up days, and people like that are rare as fuck. If you want to help solve racism in the world, you’re going to need to make some compromises from what I suspect is an ideal/perfect world you have in your head that’s black and white. At some point, if you stay on your path long enough, you’ll hopefully realize that there is no black, there is no white, everything’s a shade of gray or a different color between the rainbow. People like OP are allies worth having, they’re success stories to tell; they’re not the enemy.
Billionaires are the enemy. Never, ever let them make you forget that.
That is Elon Musk not believing that Elon Musk is racist.
It took me 35+ years to realize I have a huge racist streak. And all that behavior was so similar to mine before I was told that I am a racist POS.
It sucks. And it is almost impossible to break out of it if you get that old with it.
All i can do is hope that I investigate enough of myself and don’t micro/macro-aggress on Black Americans.
Elon Musk, my guess, hasn’t had anyone break that news to him successfully.
Too few people grapple with this level of self-awareness. Fewer still make the hard choice when confronted with the ugly truth.
Salute, fellow investigator.
Honestly, I think everyone is a bit racist. When people don’t look or behave like you, it’s easy to treat them differently, sometimes a lot differently.
I work with people from a variety of backgrounds (race, language, nationality) and I’m married to someone with a different race, language, and nationality as well. Even so, when I read articles online, I picture the other person as my race, background, and gender, even though that’s unlikely to be the case. I also catch myself thinking less of someone who is different from me, before I catch myself and really think about what they said/did (usually it’s just the accent or mannerisms throwing me off).
I think that’s normal, and you’re doing the right thing by acknowledging it and trying to catch yourself. The next step that works for me is to build trust with my co-workers who are different from me, and ask them if I’m being insensitive or something. It takes time to build that trust, but my spouse calls me out all the time and I express my gratitude each time. I still make mistakes, but hopefully those around me know I don’t mean anything by it. I also catch my spouse being racist, and they’re a bit more defensive about it but appreciative nonetheless.
Good luck! Life is all about continually improving ourselves. I don’t think we’ll ever reach a point where racism is dead, but hopefully we can get to a point where it’s at least manageable.
I think you are describing biases, which we do indeed all have. They don’t (necessarily) make you racist, they make you human. The folks who refuse to make any attempt to acknowledge that (or who openly revel in it), and won’t do the work to mitigate those biases - those are the racists and bigots.
Right. I’m just saying that statements can be racist, but that doesn’t necessarily make me racist because it all comes down to intent. I want people to call me out because it’s not my intention to say racist things.
Being able to sit with discomfort is key to teaching oneself to be better. The hardest part is realising that there’s never a point where you have fixed the problem and can relax - the deeper you dig, the more things you find to be uncomfortable about.
The way out is in. Not around and around. ;)
Good on you for noticing, and not just going ‘meh it’s how I am’, ‘it’s how I was raised’ or a bajillion other cop outs.
Realizing you need to change, having the impetus to do so, and actually rolling up your sleeves and fucking doing something about it are three very difficult things to do. Their difficulty increases as you proceed down the path from realization to action.
It isn’t easy. You’ll fall on your face several times; you may not ever even reach your goal, but eventually you’ll look over your shoulder at the person you were and realize how far you have come.
That’s sure a lot better feeling than sitting there doing sweet fuck all about it.
Everyone owes it to themselves to try.
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So, you are only trying not to be racist towards black Americans? 😠😠😠
What about the other people?
Have you considered the obvious implication that that’s the specific demographic they had prejudice against…?
No :)
True, what about the blackest Americans.
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Being racist is ephemeral. People can choose to keep being racist, or choose to stop being racist. The OP chose to stop being racist.
The thing you can’t teach or train, is self-inflection. If you don’t have that, you’ll likely be locked in on whatever self-discovery path you’re on right now, for the rest of your life. If it’s a good path, you’re ok. If it’s not tho, you’re like an Elon Musk, who lacks empathy for self-inflection and will likely continue down this path forever, as the OP suggests, until Musk indeed realizes that he’s a racist.
At that point, Musk can continue to be a racist, knowingly, in the open, or he can choose to change, like OP.
Some opinions are worth changing. Someone clearly thought OP was worth it, and it seems they were right.
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You can believe that to be true, and I suppose you really could be that enlightened. But most people have some degree of implicit bias, and it is wise to be aware of this and to actively challenge our own biases.
I read MonsierPatEBrown’s comment as similar to your first sentence here, but it took them 35+ years to recognize they do have stigmas towards black people that they’re now working on. That’s an accomplishment many people will never achieve tbh.
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Sure, you can and should if you’re aware of the challenge and care enough to combat those biases. It might feel like second nature for some, but it can also be like a muscle that needs to be exercised for others. It sounds like they’re trying to do so now, and that kind of growth should be encouraged imo.
Considering how many people will either assume they’re open minded enough already without really reflecting on if there’s room for improvement or actively go out of their way to treat others like they’re inferior, I don’t see the value in dragging other folks down for attempting to be more conscientious towards others. Who knows - maybe another future former racist will read their comment and come to the same realization.
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Part of my journey of self-discovery was realizing that people are not good or evil. The people generally doing evil things, are not doing them because they believe they’re evil, or the people they’re serving are evil.
Everyone believes they’re in the right, for one reason or another. And everyone believes they’re on the side of good. It’s like competing religions, they all think they’re “right”.
Someone like Trump’s motivations aren’t evil, even though it manifests as evil through the people that listen to and support him. Trump’s just a selfish, narcissistic dick who will step on, over, through, or kill anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants, and what he wants is to be constantly catered to, pleased, made happy, and be given what he wants and told how great he is all the time. That’s it.
The people that support him aren’t evil. They’re racist dickheads mainly, but they’re not evil. They’re scared of what they don’t understand and they’re angry at a changing world they don’t fit in and they want things to go back to a time when the color of their skin was good enough to guarantee that they had a stable life.
The truth is nobody gets that sort of life anymore. Not PoC, not Straight White CIS males, not anyone. The Billionaires and Oligarch have stolen that from us. From all of us. They are the real enemy. Not each other. They’ve spent a considerable part of their wealth over the years convincing us that the different kinds of us are the problem. It’s not a political issue, it’s not a race issue, it’s an education and class issue.
Those are the people we need to be angry at. Guys like the OP that were probably raised in a racist household, had racist friends, community influences, and traditions, actually breaking out of that and correcting it so that he’s working on addressing his systemic racist beliefs? Those guys are one in a million, literally, let me tell you.
I’ve been on the internet since Prodigy dial-up days, and people like that are rare as fuck. If you want to help solve racism in the world, you’re going to need to make some compromises from what I suspect is an ideal/perfect world you have in your head that’s black and white. At some point, if you stay on your path long enough, you’ll hopefully realize that there is no black, there is no white, everything’s a shade of gray or a different color between the rainbow. People like OP are allies worth having, they’re success stories to tell; they’re not the enemy.
Billionaires are the enemy. Never, ever let them make you forget that.
Removed by mod
it hurt itself in its confusion