Not to brag but I’m a pretty confident person in my social circle. I’m funny, make people laugh etc. etc.
Basically, I am adored by everybody.
But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn’t a bad thing, obviously. But I just don’t feel anything when I receive them.
However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I’m not present. I, again, don’t feel anything when people talk shit about me when I’m not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.
Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don’t see anything bad about this.
It’s also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?
I’m usually cheerful around people but when they compliment me out of the blue I just get quiet. I’m not thinking about anything either. My mood decreases. It’s not that I devalue myself. Deep down I am disgustingly egoist. However I don’t inflict any of that on others. People wouldn’t classify me as an egoist at all. Perhaps it’s my ego that’s causing this? I’m unsure.
Maybe it makes you think people have identified you as an egoist, because complimenting you is essentially appealing to your ego