Yeah. Thought posting this to no stupid questions would be OK. No luck.

Yep. I’m grateful for the people who choose this work. Sucks they’re constantly overworked, under paid, such a frustrating often thankless job. I try to remind them, hey rough job, but you’ve made a difference for me, so ty.

I text him. Ask him to tell doctor to fax insurance approval to pharmacy. Instead of doing that, he spends the next 3 hours sending me a series of texts criticizing me, telling me it’s my fault, not his, repeatedly pointing out, trying to get me to admit how irrational I was being.

All I’d said was “at the pharmacy. Can you tell the doctor to resend the insurance approval please?”

It’s not emotional, social. It’s mostly text communication. Like, “I’ll meet you at the front gate 215pm.” Female cm, we meet at the front gate 215pm. Male cm, 15 min later, im still waiting, then angry text from him saying he’s waiting somewhere else.

Ty for your objective response, btw.

Thank you. As woman with autism, it’s weird. Women nts, some tend to unconsciously expect me to behave like a woman. They operate with stereotypes, assume women should be emotional, touchy feely, into romantic comedies, etc. So when I’m logical, to the point, talk about math, science, some can’t compute. And some guys, they expect me to behave as a stereotypical female, treat me as such. Then they realize I’m not, am logical, etc, and their demeanor changes, start treating me as one of the guys.

I’ve met compassionate, emotional men, and analytical nerdy women. Just, so weird, how gender becomes such a big deal for some.

Been thinking about how quantum physics are connected to chaos theory and the properties of closed dynamic systems.

Will spare you that. Part of it is the human mind doesn’t have the processing of all configurations, all the possible states of an entire systems, simultaneously.

Humans do have abstract thought, critical thinking. We can observe, record data, notice patterns, trends. By chaos theory, humans discovered they could write math equations to describe the behavior of complex systems. With quantum physics, humans trying to figure out how localized realities in a system related to the behavior of system as a whole.

We use scientific method because we can’t comprehend the infinite. Math equations are shorthand, a trick we use to make up for our shortcomings. Science and math is awesome.

Eve online: excel spreadsheets as a video game. :)

Was severe albeit functional alcoholic til age 40. AA never worked. What finally worked was harm reduction, moderation management. Medical marijuana became a thing, and just one hit of a pocket pipe of medical grade indica… good for hours. No longer needed to drink a case of beer each night.

1st few years… I’d say, I’ll let myself have 8 beers this year. Next year was 6. Year after, 3. By then, triggered addiction cravings stopped happening.

So weird, how overpowering the addiction felt when I was trapped in it.

Can’t afford to eat much, cuz SSI, rent increase. Kept having conversations in head, like “I can buy laundry detergent OR have food to last the month.” I’ve lost 20 lbs past few months , after discovering how tasty white rice can be, with just a tiny bit of sesame oil, salt and pepper.

Out of sight, out of mind. If I need to clean frequently, I have to keep cleaning supplies out, easy to access. Enter a room, see cleaning supplies, oh, I should clean. Without the visual reminder, won’t remember.

Keep at least 2 to 3 notebooks on hand. Always writing stuff down. I’ll research, be thinking about something, but brain starts to lose focus. Write it down. Will completely forget after that. But when thought enters brain later, oh wait, I made notes…

Notepad app on phone. Anything important, will forget, so need to record.

Dbt, cbt has helped. Brain tends to be scattered, all over the place, so daily mindfulness, grounding exercises to connect to moment.

Only able to process data rapidly, large scale, all data at once. So, books with large pages, lots of data broken down, grouped for rapid assimilation.

Routines are essential. Phone always in left pocket, keys in right pocket, etc. If I put keys somewhere else, I’ll freak, panic. So routine, if I start to panic, look in usual spot, wait, they’re where they’re supposed to be.

If out in public, at a counter, take wallet out, lay on counter… stare at wallet entire time, not breaking eye contact, or else I’ll forget it’s there.

Wallet attached via chain. Small compact umbrella so I can keep in pocket, otherwise will lose it. Carbiner attached to things so it’s easier to hold, not lose.

I have central auditory processing disorder, capd. Seeing a visual is instantaneous, clear, easy. People speaking is torturous, brain can’t process, requires lot of work, confusion, translating. For me, visuals are external, but even external sounds become internal, physical. Activation of the limbic system, anxiety, fear, can lead to hearing voices. Prefrontal cortex, I think, is where brain stops internalizing sound as stress, fear. Why some people with adhd who hear voices take a small, mild dose of Ritalin at night. Ritalin means less limbic, less fear.

Not an answer to your question, but I think different areas of the brain process sound, visuals. Different mechanisms. I’d be interested to know if someone could shed light on this.

The Cheshire cat, and much of Alice in wonderland, hit quite hard, but in a good way. Helped me see that insanity, mental health issues could be a good thing

I used to drink cold bottles of beer while showering. Very doable.

Additional facet: when I was younger, only super nerdy, tech people into coding and stuff played video games. Now tho, way more people playng phone games, video games. So games popping up to cater to people who aren’t super nerdy or into tech.

Can’t cite sources, just want to reaffirm. Kept running into that concept when researching game design, advertising, psychology.

Update 2 days later: Many useful comments. I now have text doc filled with apps, software, podcasts, etc to research, try out.

This posted question was weird, obscure. Could’ve been ignored, ridiculed. Barely slept in 4 weeks cuz hearing voices. Desperately hoping against hope.

So, small group of random internet strangers taking question seriously, offering constructive solutions instead of ridicule? You’ve helped a lot. Thank you.

Perfect, free even better. Will definitely look into that.

Been listening to combo of three audio files, white, pink and grey noise to block out all frequencies. 2 are youtube videos, and designed white noise loop I created in a sound editor program .

No matter how varied each sound source is, even in combo, there will be pattern variations that become predictable on repeat.

Kinda like how fremen walk on the sand in dune. Have to walk with no pattern, to not attract sandworms.

Yes! Exceptional nerdy tech. Thank you

OK, that was super nerdy. I’m a nerd geek, so I will definitely check that out