Something something silent auction.

Same thing that happened before. You were fine with not existing before hand.

“Seventy-Twoth”

Something something banana organ.

Idk. I’m not an alien.

Tuna Sandwich

Ingredients:

2 slices Dave’s Killer Bread (21 Seed Variant), lightly toasted

1 can tuna

2 tbsp Hellmann’s mayonnaise

2 tbsp chopped pickles

1 slice muenster cheese

1 slice gruyere cheese

2 slices tomato

A handful of baby spinach leaves

1 tsp Grey Poupon mustard

Salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions:

1. Prepare Tuna Mix: Combine tuna, mayonnaise, and chopped pickles in a bowl.

2. Assemble Sandwich:

• Spread the tuna mixture on one slice of toasted bread.

• Spread Grey Poupon mustard on the other slice.

• Layer muenster cheese, gruyere cheese, tomato slices, and baby spinach leaves over the tuna.

3. Season: Sprinkle salt and pepper to taste.

4. Close and Serve: Place the mustard-coated slice on top, press gently, and enjoy.

Supervolcano eruption.

I prefer to think of us as being in the year 12,024.

Raising Cane’s or nothing.

Twitter dies when advertisers realize there’s no money in paying to advertise there. The moment it becomes more advantageous to pay for the ads somewhere else, it collapses.

You don’t think MAGA goons would organize constitutional conventions to keep their god king in office?

Or start stapling posters places.

Well, that’s how you make a good curse.

Gender inequality isn’t solved via paperwork. If anything that would make pay equity even harder to achieve.

And they are an energy source for the good microbes there too.

Gotta get those microbial micronutrients.

Well, physical scrubbing, sure. But also, specific fibers are required for a healthy gut microbiome to function and maintain a proper balance of microbes that produce other micronutrients that your body cannot make on its own as well as fending off the types of microbes that subsist of sugars and fats alone.

Smoothies with a proper dietary balance still have fiber. So yeah.

But even beyond that, waste products from the gut microbiome, and left over bits that the body doesn’t use. Best case scenario, you would have small, liquid poops.

Your best bet? Intravenous feeding. Not that Drag has any intention of doing this.

Black licorice is best licorice. Red licorice is just a sugar rope. Licorice is anise flavor and is an amazingly complex experience!

Fight me.

The movie Trick 'r Treat, scaring the neighborhood kids, and blowing out all the jack o lanterns at 12:01.

And leave out a bowl of milk and a tray of candies for the demons/fairies overnight.

Haha. It’s always a vibe. Saw a little kid dressed as the warden from Minecraft and I pretended to have the darkness effect and gave him a wad of mini crunch bars. I think he was super happy to get recognized!

And they aren’t hard and fast rules. Just a sliding scale. And after being on candy duty for the last 15 years, you kinda just internalize it.

Plus, Halloween is all about the rules. Say trick or treat. Don’t blow out your pumpkin before midnight so the demons don’t get ya. Always check your candy.

There are rules for my parents house. I give out the candy there and we go through like 30 pounds of it in a night.

Not Saying Trick or Treat? No Candy. (EDIT: If they don’t say it, I always ask them “What do you say?” Which is funny too. Sometimes they go through “Thank you” “Happy Halloween” then finally get to “Trick or Treat.” Then they do get their appropriate amount of candy.)

Saying Trick or Treat with no costume? One candy, low tier.

Trick or Treat with Costume? 2 pieces, probably some chocolate.

Trick or Treat with High Effort or Very Unique costume I haven’t seen 10 of all night? 3-4 pieces def some chocolate and a ring pop.

Within that, older siblings escorting younger? Extra piece + glow stick.

Family Costume Set? Extra piece and my mom takes a picture of them.

I scare the shit out of you when I rip the door open? Extra piece?

I scare you and you cry? Extra chocolate.

Babies? Mom deserves an extra piece.