So contact NBC with your concerns. Arguing with people who can’t change it just makes people who might otherwise agree with you frustrated with your point of view.

You’re angry about a headline that abbreviates the actual story.

The very first paragraph of the article:

Mass graves uncovered in Syria in the days since President Bashar al-Assad wasoverthrown are exposing evidence of some of the worst abuses since the Nazis, a top international war crimes prosecutor said. [emphasis mine]

The article agrees with you. It’s only the headline that doesn’t.

This kind of anger and engagement at headlines is exactly what the media thrives off of. Don’t let them win by doing just that.

If I may rephrase what I’m reading: You don’t want to tell him to leave you alone because you would be upset if someone told you that.

Here’s the thing: you don’t know that will upset him. TL;DR of the rest of my post: he probably won’t take it the way you would, and I highly recommend being straightforward with him.

I suggest reading about the difference in Ask Culture vs Guess Culture. Those of us who grew up in a guess culture manage our own actions based on what we think will be acceptable to those around us and won’t even initiate something if it would be deemed inappropriate, so it’s rare we have to be told “no”. Those in ask culture will just ask and be totally fine if told no, because they haven’t already done the pre-work to figure out if their request will be approved.

One of the best lessons I’ve had in the past few years is that other people don’t respond like me. I mean, that should be obvious. But it came up in the context of being a manager at work with an underperformer. I would be devastated if my boss told me I was not doing well at my job, and so I was terrified of telling my direct report that. I communicated the gaps in her specific actions for months, but we finally got to a point where I needed to have the conversation that I didn’t think the role was the right fit for her. It was one of the hardest days in my career. And she thanked me for it!

I was so scared because I was imagining how I’d feel hearing what I was going to say. But she’s not me! And instead of being upset, she felt relief to hear someone else say it.

You’re afraid of being rude, and that shows you have compassion and care for others. But I bet you that this coworker of yours just needs to be told, and not communicating with him is actually less kind.

A quote from a favorite book series of mine is a take on our “golden rule” through an alien culture: “The Iron Rule: Treat others less powerful than you however you like. The Silver Rule: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. The Golden Rule: Treat others as they’d like to be treated.”

I prefer spelling it with an ‘e’ so I always do that (probably because my name has two common spellings, one with an A and the other with an E, and mine is the latter).

But if forced to identify which is which color-wise, I’d say “grey” has cool undertones while “gray” has warm undertones. Really no reason to think that, but it’s right in my brain.

I got my cat while I was in high school. She was by my side when I was diagnosed with chronic illnesses and was there with me nonstop as I healed from a couple surgeries over the years. She lived in every home I’ve lived in and has seen me through nearly every heartbreak and other challenge I’ve had in my life. I had to put her down at 20 years old on October 5th.

I told people for years that I didn’t know what I’d do when I’d lose her, except that I’d be a mess. And that’s true. Just reading the comments in this thread has me crying again, and I’m not sure if I’ve had a day without tears since Oct 5. But I’m alive. Losing her has left a hole in my heart and soul, but I’m starting to feel like I can breathe normally again most of the time.

It’s gonna suck, and there’s no way around that. But the love and joy you share now will be worth every moment of the grief you will feel. After all, grief is just love without a place to go.

I recommend taking lots of pictures, videos, and even sound recordings (I have many recordings of her purring). I get so much comfort from watching and listening to those. It’s not the same and it’s not enough, but it still helps.

I wish you all the best, in your health and his. I was so lucky to share twenty years of my life with my girl, and I hope you get as much time with your boy.

Requesting one small caveat to your thinking: your friends with chronic health issues (physical and/or mental) may bail more often than others but still love you.

My partner has lost friends over them thinking he uses his migraines as an excuse to not show up to things. They feel hurt because he bailed one too many times for them, and he feels hurt because they diminished his disability and didn’t believe him. It’s hard to see the additional toll it takes on him.

(I also have my own chronic issues but thankfully have been able to suck it up often enough to not have it come in the way of friendships. Sometimes he and I are intentional about making sure at least one of us attends something even if we both feel like shit in order to not alienate people we care about.)

I appreciate you breaking it down this way. It helps me understand the stance so many hold on landlords.

However, I think you’re missing a lot in your distillation that everything above mortgage + handyman salary is making money for nothing.

Owner also pays property taxes, insurance, all maintenance costs, all upgrades, and possibly utilities or yard care. The benefits for the renters include having a maintenance person on-call all the time, not needing to vet each tradesperson, not needing to get quotes, no expenses when an appliance breaks, no liability in case of a disaster, and more.

If I didn’t have a handy partner and the market was reasonable, I’d love to rent. I don’t want to deal with maintenance and I like having a consistent monthly fee rather than suddenly having to spend $2k on a new water heater like I did last month, or being afraid that our heat might die suddenly this winter because we weren’t ready to spend >$20k this summer to replace the air handler when it went out and needed a new part. Plus my partner took 3 half days off work to get 3 quotes for it. They each told us significantly different things that we needed to do, so we couldn’t decide if we were comfortable doing business with any of them. That shit is stressful! Having the assurance that I can call just one person and someone else will take care of it is worth a good price.

So the cost of owning some units is more than just the mortgage, and the benefits of renting are more than just a maintenance person’s salary. Distilling it to just those two things is an unjust comparison.

Should a person get stupidly rich off of being a landlord? No. That’s exploitative. The cost of renting should match the cost of the property and maintenance (as averaged out over time) plus the cost/savings of the additional benefits of renting. That’s all. But that’s a lot more than just mortgage + handyman salary divided out over however many units the landlord owns.

(Also this assumes the person is actually a good landlord, and we know there are many landlords out there who aren’t.)

If you expect the average person to be able to understand an algebraic equation better than the existing system, then I’d suggest you get out of your social bubble and meet more ‘average’ people.

But that’s just a ‘bone apple tea’ of “chest of drawers”? It’s not a correct term.

(I figured surely there’s an actual word for misheard terms being butchered in writing, but a quick search failed me so I went with the colloquial name.)

At one point in my childhood, my dad made the comment, “Women don’t know compass directions.” I took offense to that and made a point to learn them to prove him wrong.

I felt vindicated in high school when he was coming to pick me up from a friend’s house and said, “I’m at the gas station. Do I go left or right?” I told him there were several gas stations on the way, and asked which direction he was facing to figure out which one he was by. He couldn’t tell me and finally hung up on me in a huff.

I put down my best friend of 20 years on October 5th and fuck it’s hard. I’m sorry. You know you’re making the caring decision and loving your dog until the end though, and that is a gift.

It’s going to be hard. I’m starting to feel like myself again between the moments of deep grief, but I am still fragile and sad and will be for a long time.

If you ever need comfort from a stranger, feel free to save my name or comment and shoot me a message.

This 1955 featurette interpreted it as re-gifting daily. It ends up being a LOT of birds.

A DMV is accountable for driving laws and practices in their own state, not educating people about every possible driving condition anywhere.

Wait, are you saying that Virginia not mentioning what to do if a moose is in the road is “bad”?

Considering that the northern-most part of Virginia is still about 350 mi south of the closest range of moose, it would be pointless if not absurd for them to include it.

Thank you <3

She was the best! My soul pet. I had her for over half my life since she was 4 months old. We had a great life together and I’m so grateful for that, even though losing her leaves a gaping hole in my heart.

Thank you. I’m sorry you’re also caring for an aging pet. It’s hard but they are so, so worth it! Love her and her howls. Try to get pictures and videos of her! And give her an extra head kiss or scritch or whatever she likes best from me, please!

My 20-year-old baby girl insisted I face her as well. She would paw at the back of my head until I rolled over or moved her in front of me. She only started doing that over the past two years or so, but for about five years she would paw at me to lift the covers so she could snuggle under them or to hold her in my arms.

I had to put her to sleep just over two weeks ago on October 5. I miss her waking me up all the time for snuggles. I would trade every night of solid sleep in the world to have her with me still.

Ah, interesting callout; I can totally understand why that is a turn-off. My sister recommended the book to me so I didn’t give the title any thought.

The story is definitely about that trope, and mostly turning it on its head. It’s about the women, with the underlying theme that they are what they are because of men but they own who they are and their future.

I hope if you give it a shot that you enjoy it as much as I do!

Deliberate in what way?

Oh, I may have a book (series) for you! The Alchemist’s Daughter by Theodora Goss. It starts with Mary Jekyll—the daughter of Dr. Jekyll—and expands to find Sherlock and Watson, a daughter of Hyde, Justine—the woman made to be Adam Frankenstein’s bride, and other women left in the path of various men who tested the limits of humanity. It even talks about Shelley’s book and why she might have written it as she did. The second book expands into the wife and daughter of Van Helsing.

I’m about 75% of the way through the second book and have been loving them. They’re very post-modern though, with the characters somewhat frequently interrupting the narrator to discuss the way the story is written. I love that sort of thing but know it’s not for everyone!