How else can they get hand jobs?

Sorry I’ll let myself out.

Gold pressed latinum

Are we re-evolving back to quadruped shape?

You do seem talented at expressing yourself in writing. Something there worth exploring?

We do not discuss it with outsiders.

Wow I never knew no nuts like I know nuts now!

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

Good for you. Follow your heart. Or whichever of your vital organs happens to be calling the shots at that moment.

Yes, basking in blissful ignorance

I don’t know who that is, but somehow I know if I did know, I wouldn’t like this

The hat:

https://i.etsystatic.com/7918096/r/il/fbd7a5/3291178703/il_570xN.3291178703_rj4t.jpg

Oh man, if my kids start fact-checking I’ll have a lot of explaining to do.

I feel like I did when Bill Bailey was on an episode of Dr Who. This was made just for me.

Captain destroy the planet

What is the purpose of the squiggly one?

Everyone I have met who rode motorcycles has a story like this. Then they lift up their pant leg or shirt to show you ghastly huge scars.

There comes a point when your hardware is too old to receive new OS updates and all this new stuff coming out just isn’t compatible.

For me its like a constant cold symptom. Runny or stuffy nose, sneeze attacks, swelling and redness, stuff everyone gets when they get sick.

2 specific pills per day keeps it under control most of the time. Some days nothing can save me. I had to try so many different medicines to finally find what works for me. My stuff doesn’t work for my sister. You’ll just have to try stuff until something works, like an episode of House M.D.

Are you being a big baby? I dunno man, everybody has their struggles. I’ve had my whole life to become numb to this problem. Maybe you’re just not used to it?

Enterprise really gets the heart rate up

Clearly a construction-themed remix of Every Breath You Take, but yeah, been there.