‘Day One’ LOL. This dude has 123,964 things scheduled for ‘day one’. The man who didn’t get to works before Noon when he was pretending to play president last time. He will be playing golf on ‘day one’.

[Looks down the street] Everyone run, he’s cumming!

It’s to take your picture for the “database”, download your phone contents, and give you a thorough all over “feel up”.

Square Pizza = I hate my employees & I’m too cheap to give you full pizza. Triangle Pizza = We appreciate you very much!

You could add the mushrooms you find in the woods. :) And don’t forget the Pine Needle Tea.

“And the cook of the year award goes to…” not you

Someone needs to pay for all those people to attend, otherwise it will be a ghost town on the National Mall.

Bathtub Phone What All The Cool Cats Use

Sometimes this is a very, very good thing. Destroyed dreams are not always a bad thing.

Every song should start with the classic Tmobile ringtone!

People complain about the fake reviews on Amazon (which are illegal now), but it’s the dumb people that are the worst.

Except the Costco CEO retired years ago. And now Costco is even more greedy than it was.

You mean the man who’s company let sick people die by denying proper healthcare, all for the sake of profits? That innocent man? Do not turn this guy in.

Sometimes people provide a public service to humanity is very dark ways. Do not turn this guy in.

“fellacio”. Don’t worry, I can handle it all by myself. :)

Chi!

Hey, thanks for advertising my Autobiography.

It looks like an order was going out and the employee wearing the glove took a picture before it goes into the bin for order fulfillment.

Finally a breakfast drink to go with my english muffins.