I have a distant sibling that I’ve been building a relationship with over long distance. Saw them in-person and realized that they have quite a few toxic traits from one of our narcissistic parents. I don’t know what to do now. I’m pretty traumatized from that parent and my sibling doesn’t see any of it as a negative. I don’t think I have the ability to open their eyes on it, either. I want the relationship I thought we had.

I didn’t like coleslaw until I ate it as a condiment. Alone it’s not my thing at all. In a sandwich? On top of pulled pork? Awesome stuff.

It looks like both Neoscona crucifera and Araneus cavaticus are called barn spiders, though the latter is the namesake. Thanks for the specifics, I learned something new and will update my comment :D

Thanks, I updated it. Maybe it loads now?

Hard to tell without a good look at the abdomen, but I think this is a barn spider. The bite isn’t bad for humans. They are very creepy cute when resting, they fold their legs up and become a kind of diamond shape.

Edit: It looks like both Neoscona crucifera and Araneus cavaticus are commonly called barn spiders. I linked to the first but the second is the namesake.

Exactly. If you can smell it, then there’s molecules in the air and that’s going to mean it’s also on the food. It’s completely insignificant though. Eating next to a dumpster doesn’t mean my food’s contaminated even though technically those same molecules that I’m smelling are getting on the food.

Living a life well-lived vs feeling like you’ve lived a life well-lived are two different things. The first… be a good person, treat others and yourself with kindness, try to leave the world a little better than it would have been without you.

Feeling like you’ve lived a life well-lived though, that’s different for everyone. In the Sims games there are Lifetime Wishes. One wish to accomplish over that Sim’s entire life. I think real life is similar - everyone has a lifetime wish that once accomplished will fill a hole and help them be more at peace with dying. I got lucky, mine was easy. I wanted to help someone in a way that positively impacted the rest of their life. When I discovered that I had accidentally done that for a friend, the effect was amazing. I felt spiritually whole and like I was done doing what I was put on this earth for. I’m not religious, btw. I’m still living so I’m going to keep doing my best… but now I feel like my life has been well lived.

I don’t think the answer is so clear for everyone. My spouse doesn’t know their “lifetime wish”. Maybe it’ll be revealed with time or maybe they’ll never consciously know. I don’t think it’s something you get to choose, either. If you ask yourself what’s the one thing you absolutely need to do to be at peace before you die then you may figure it out eventually.

One technique to become lucid in dreams is to look at your hands. Hands usually look a bit off - think AI hands. Then you can do whatever you want. In theory if you make it a habit to look at your hands during the day, you’ll do it while dreaming too.

Two things your restaurant might be doing that you don’t at home:

• Spritzing a little lemon on the avocado to keep it looking fresh.
• Salt.

Maybe these will make a difference for you.

• Participate. Comment, post, mod, support the software, make tools to help new users, donate to instance providers, write blog posts, review apps, whatever you’re interested in and can do. Don’t force yourself too hard cause this is still supposed to be fun and nobody benefits from burnout.
• BE KIND. The more of a wholesome, open community we can create, the better. Don’t feed the trolls. Report and move on.
• If you’re on other social media, maybe include a link to lemmy somewhere. Cross post lemmy posts, that kind of thing. PR never hurts. Try to stay away from “Lemmy army” kind of posts cause that usually pushes people away more than inviting them in.

All this being said, I’m not sure Lemmy is new-user friendly enough to expand quickly right now. I want my technology illiterate grandma to be able to sign up and use it without help. It’s been amazing to join and be a part of this community. Like a lot of others I came here after Reddit API changes and I’ve loved seeing Lemmy grow.

America. Ideally you have insurance through work. Going to your PCP may be ~$50, same for specialists. Urgent care and ER will be higher, then there will be additional bills depending on what needs to be done and your insurance. Then there’s “in-network” and “out-of-network”. In-network will be covered more by insurance than out-of-network. It’s tricky for hospital stays. In my area there are doctors who are out-of-network working at in-network hospitals. So you will get 2 separate bills - one from the hospital and one from the doctor.

Honestly it’s terrifying having an emergency because you really don’t know how much it could cost. Most insurance plans have a max out of pocket. One number for the individual, one for the family. The lowest I’ve seen is $2k/$6k while the highest was ~$16k/30k. I’m in a LCOL city though. Max or of pocket is the maximum you should ever have to pay for a single year. You will almost definitely hit this if you have a baby or need more than a couple days in a hospital.

For people with low income there are sometimes assistance programs at hospitals. One common outcome is you go into a payment plan and maybe years later your remaining debt is forgiven. The payment plans can be very cheap. I’ve heard of $25/mo. Still it’s probably for a bill that’s in the thousands if not 5 or 6 digits.

If you don’t have insurance through work you can buy your own insurance but many people just wing it. Most hospitals will charge less when there is no insurance to bill. Maybe 1/3 what they would charge insurance. This will still be in the 4-6 digit range. So you go into a payment plan, or maybe there’s additional financial assistance from the hospital, or you just ignore the bill and take the credit hit when it goes to collections.

There are programs through the government, Medicare and Medicaid. They cover quite a lot but if you’re under 65 then I believe you have to be disabled to qualify.

The quality of care is generally high though, so that’s cool.

Do you mind ELI5 what exercising valves means? Is it just opening and closing?

“I won’t be available that day but I will make a donation to XYZ Org that helped my aunt when she had breast cancer.”

Don’t try to educate how Susan G Komen is awful, that’s tricky to keep professional and might be a losing battle. Instead educate about awesome charities that do good work. If you’re asked to donate to both, then really lean into how much your aunt loves this other charity over G Komen.

You can also kill them with kindness by thanking them for the reminder if they still don’t leave. Extra points if they’re super aggressive, ask if the company will match your donation :)

Congrats, buddy.

It’s been a long time since I’ve looked into their stuff, so this might be dated advice, but there’s also sex educators like Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Dan Savage.

Maybe not 100% what you’re looking for, but Pornhub has sex ed videos and a sex wellness center. For fetishplay, you probably need to ask the communities for resources.

Same. Then covid got me. Was sick for a week but had the worst shortness of breath that finally got better after a year of inhalers.

On the other hand, my friends felt like it was just a bad cold. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fast food’s too expensive even without delivery expenses these days. Makes me sad.

I can’t speak for everyone, but asking myself “why” has helped me introspect. If I have a bad reaction to something or don’t when I should, I ask myself why. After a couple rounds of “why” it usually comes down to childhood experiences or social expectations. At least for me. Eventually it gets easier and being able to id the source helps figure out the positive steps to correct it.

Amazing article on neural implants for blindness and some of the real world challenges.