What’s the best way to clean guinea pig urine off a keyboard?

All we’ve needed this whole time is a raccoon trap.

I would be honored if Michael Phelps gave me all his gold medals from Beijing. Then I’d be the best swimmer of all time.

I think he just hates that Obama has one

Mixing up Pennywise versions. True madness.

Have you tried bombing the violence?

I’m against it

As jaded and sad as I am about how bad things are, it is at least shedding some light on problems we have had for a lot longer. Trump didn’t invent all of this, he just magnified it and drew attention to it. It is definitely possible that within my lifetime there comes a point where we start to change course. It will take generations to unwind and build something new and better, but I would be patriotic about moving in the right direction, even while we still have a long way to go.

Abducted?

Great album

All you have to do is have your lawyer call you a “pillar of the community”.

Edit: Oh and be a rich, white, cis man willing to call yourself straight and christian. That part is important.

And as everyone knows, that’s an anagram of “Ari”. As in Ari Lehman, the first Jason Voorhees. It all makes sense now!

In my opinion, personally, the latter, but some people in his administration, very much the former.

As a zoologist, that is clearly from a snuffleupagus.

Veterans of Foreign Whars

By the laws of 80s movies it was the only way to save the rec center.

it’s got to end like an old tube TV where it shrinks to a single pixel and flashes .

All she did was write an article critical of genocide, and she was taken away in an unmarked vehicle and imprisoned.

Land of the free, right? Not an authoritarian hellhole at all…

The condition is chronic.