My Dad was a truck driver and died from bladder cancer. Please don’t hold it when you don’t have to.

There will always be problems and money offers solutions to a lot of problems. So even if your problems grow, it’s possible for your solutions to grow faster.

It sounds like you are fundamentally trying to embrace healthier habits. I would suggest starting by examining the feeling. Just spend some time thinking about it before acting. Why do I feel motivated to do this? How will I feel while doing it? How will I feel after? Do I gain something from this worth the downsides?

The goal is to make a decision about what you are doing and why instead of just falling into old patterns of behavior with thought.

Yeah. Human memory evolved to keep us alive not happy. Brain assumes anything that stressful must be life threatening and we obviously should remember that so we can avoid it in the future.

I personally find having a rational understanding of the utility of emotions helps me process them.

It’s bell curves all the way down.

If the iGPU is getting the job done, I would leave that alone. You could add a GPU and pass it through to a gaming VM. But that is an entirely different project.

Proxmox is basically a VM management software that runs in a Debian install. You may be able to add it to your current install, but I am not certain about that.

First based on everything I have ever heard, don’t host your own email server. If you want to learn it that’s fine, but don’t do it for something you actually rely on. My understanding it’s a constant miserable slog to keep it functioning.

Second for getting started, get a cheap used computer and install Linux on it. Also be prepared to wipe it and install something different. Docker may be a good place to go next. You can find lots of guides online, there are tones of apps setup to run with docker you can test out. You could also explore virtual machines. Both have the advantage of making it easier to experiment with different things.

Let’s say that yes, you pointed them to “networking”. The issue is that they have a specific problem and you are pointing to a topic so broad and deep with no specific direction. But you also say “it’s basic”. Well if it truly is basic and they still don’t get it, this would be a clear indication that they need some level of hand holding. Last if your feeling “that is a lot of work, I don’t want to do that” no problem you don’t have to. But in that that situation I would suggest reviewing before commenting: is it going to get the person closer to a solution? Is encouraging to the person? Am I indicating I also have this problem indicating someone else could step in and help multiple people at once? Is it funny? If it’s no on all those, maybe don’t comment.

I think the important factor is that you have contributed nothing of value to help this person learn. You could have linked to a useful resources, you have suggested Google searches to point in the correct direction. But you basically said “This is easy, RTFM”. Next time at least send them the manual they should read.

I think an important detail is likely missing. My experience as a software engineer intern included getting paid well and full benefits as an employee. So legally I was an hourly employee and I think the label of “intern” was to set expectations work/performance/responsibility.

Good insights. I will need to spend some pondering how much of this applies to myself. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Not a professional, just another meat bag trying to figure his own stuff out. Good job on the introspection. Some times just seeing our own behavior can be difficult. Getting help from a professional is always a good plan. Until then, I would suggest continuing to be mindful of that you do this and make a focused effort to pay attention to the emotions your are feeling when you do these things. Other than that, what are the things you DO want to do? When you you try take these new actions, what are your emotions at these times?

P.S. Being more self aware is a skill. Don’t be surprised if it your not very good at it to start.

Hey get your facts straight. They overclocked it intentionally but poorly. If they weren’t already pushing it to the limit this probably wouldn’t even be an issue.

Every CPU will wear out given enough time. Most of the time that is like 20+ years, so no one cares. The problem is that they where pushing things so hard the CPU was wearing out in 6 months. So all of these CPUs will likely have a reduced lifespans, but they may last long enough to get you to your next upgrade. If you are already seeing crashing issues, it is likely wore out already.

I have started to mentally replace “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” with “every hurt you heal makes you stronger”. I am sorry you got hurt, I wish you the best on your journey to heal.

You don’t want hardware raid. Some options you can research:

• Mdadm - Linux software raid
• ZFS - Combo raid and filesystem
• Btrfs - A filesystem that can also do raid things

Some OS options to consider:

• Debian - good if you want to learn to do everything yourself
• Truenas Scale - Comercial NAS OS. I bit of work to get started, but very stable once going.
• Unraid - Enthusiast focused NAS OS. Not as stable as Truenas, but easier to get started and a lot of community support.

There are probably other software/OS’s to consider, but those are the ones I have any experience with. I personally use ZFS on Truenas with a lot of help from this YouTube channel. https://youtube.com/@lawrencesystems?si=O1Z4BuEjogjdsslF

If you want to get things working then never “tinker” with things, maybe it’s not worth it. But if you want to learn and be able to try new things it is really helpful. Having a new VM not breaking existing VMs reduces risk when trying something new.

I think GPU passthrough has improved since you have used it. Some command line prep work is still necessary, but the passthrough config is done in the GUI.

Syncthing is a better fit for your use case. As much as I appreciate having my Nextcloud setup, it can also be a pain in the ass some times.