Came here to mention inulin as a great fiber supplement in addition to psyllium husk. Fixing my gut changed my life, the direct impacts for me on mood, well-being, inflammation, and overall health cannot be overstated.
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Cake day: June 15th, 2023
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8·2 months agoCrucial Conversations — Summary
A crucial conversation is any conversation where
- stakes are high,
- opinions differ, and
- emotions run strong. These are the moments where communication tends to deteriorate into silence or violence—and also the moments that most impact relationships, results, and trust.
The book teaches how to stay effective, curious, and collaborative even when it’s hard.
- Start With Heart
Before opening your mouth, check your intent.
Ask yourself three grounding questions:
- What do I really want—for me, for them, and for the relationship?
- How would I act if I truly wanted that?
- What stories am I telling myself that distort my motives?
This interrupts reactive fight-flight patterns and restores internal alignment.
- Learn to See When Safety Drops
Crucial conversations become unsafe when people sense judgment, coercion, or disrespect.
Detect early signs:
- Silence: masking, avoiding, withdrawing
- Violence: controlling, labeling, attacking
The moment safety drops, the conversation stops mattering—only self-protection matters.
- Make It Safe (Establish Psychological Safety)
You restore safety through two tools:
i. Mutual Purpose — “We’re in this together.”
Show that you care about their goals and outcomes.
If purposes differ, create a shared purpose by inventing options acceptable to both sides.
ii. Mutual Respect — “I value you as a person.”
When respect feels threatened, no conversation works.
Apologize sincerely if needed. Use contrast statements:
- What I don’t mean → clarify the misperceived attack
- What I do mean → state your positive intention
- Master Your Stories
Your emotions come from the story you tell about what’s happening—not the event itself.
Event → Interpretation (“story”) → Emotion → Reaction
People naturally fill gaps with:
- Victim stories (“It’s not my fault”)
- Villain stories (“They’re terrible”)
- Helpless stories (“Nothing I can do”)
The fix:
- Challenge your assumptions
- Replace certainty with curiosity
- Ask: “What else could this mean?”
- STATE Your Path (How to Speak Honestly Without Triggering Defensiveness)
The book’s core communication tool:
- Share your facts (least controversial)
- Tell your story (your interpretation)
- Ask for their path (invite their perspective)
- Talk tentatively (avoid absolutism)
- Encourage testing (welcome disagreement)
This expresses truth while reinforcing safety.
- Explore the Other Person’s Path
Use curiosity to draw out their meaning-making process.
Tools:
-
AMPP Skills
-
- Ask
- Mirror (reflect emotions or tone)
- Paraphrase
- Prime (offer a guess if they hesitate)
-
ABC of listening: agree where you can, build on shared areas, compare differences respectfully.
Goal: understand them well enough that they feel seen.
- Move to Action (Decide + Execute)
Crucial conversations should end with clear commitment.
Questions to answer:
- Who does what by when?
- How will we follow up?
- What happens if commitments aren’t met?
Four decision models:
- Command (leader decides)
- Consult (get input, then decide)
- Vote
- Consensus
Pick based on urgency, stakes, and involvement.
Dialogue succeeds when people feel safe enough to express their full truth—and curious enough to hear others.
Crucial Conversations is fundamentally a blueprint for replacing defensiveness with inquiry, fear with safety, and positional fighting with collaborative problem-solving.
6·3 months agoAwesome improvements! Really nice work. I’ll definitely be switching at some point when I have a reason to mess with it. Thanks for all the extra work you’ve done to improve the fork and gift the project to the commons.
I used a similar project called Ansible NAS a while back and it’s been working beautifully. I had a problem and had to reinstall the OS on my NAS at some point and this made it a breeze. That project requires Ubuntu and I prefer Debian so I may try this out next time.
No POSIX compliance no award!
2·5 months agoAre there any better options for keyboard trackpad combo than the Logitech k400 yet?
2·5 months agoIt was on my wishlist already too, but I do remember seeing it a while back and being intrigued.
I played Medievia for most of the 90s. I had so much fun! It’s wild the breadth and depth that MUDs have thanks to not having graphics. MMOs can’t hold a candle to them, It’s like writing a novel vs producing a movie.
Great advice. There’s a book called The Practice of Embodying Emotions with tons of science backing up the basic advice of: let emotions take up as much of your body as you can, which helps them process and release faster.
Happy my recent upgrade has the yellow backlight feature for just this reason
1·7 months agoI’ve had it for years, since it came out, and only managed to sink a few hours into it. I recently fired it up again, thanks for the recommendation!
Love to hear it! I read and reread Feist’s whole series as a kid, I remember always being so excited when a new book came out. I cut my teeth learning to read novels on Magician in 3rd grade!
You’ll be interested to learn that Feist didn’t write anything for the game, he just licensed the world and the characters. Neal Hallford wrote the story and dialogue which were brilliant, and Feist later adapted the story into a novel.
I just replayed QfG 1-3 last week on a family vacation and the magic is still strong. Something about these games ignite mythic perspectives in me that nothing else seems to.
Quest for Glory series! Betrayal at Krondor
Loved Shining Force since I watched my brother and his friend play all night after renting it from Blockbuster in the early 90s! I’ve played 1 and 2 a few times over the years and always had fun.
0·9 months agoFor me it was totally unintentional, it just happens to be who I enjoy being with.
She confirmed that she collected and placed the blossoms!
I think you’re right. I misinterpreted what my friend sent me when she said she honored the dying tree with fallen blossoms. I have asked her for clarification and I’ll update here when I get it.
Everything looks cool with confidence!
That happened for me at first, so I reduced the amount. Now I mix it into my homemade bread and don’t notice it at all!