Meanwhile, in the Southern hemisphere I have to turn the aircon on at 8 in the morning or else cook.

Wanna hear my theory about how the existence of purple aliens proves the existence of blue and red aliens?

Is this an advert? It’s an advert, isn’t it. Are you an AI?

No. I realised years ago that I always come away from a Facebook browsing session irritable and dissatisfied. I still have it, because it’s the only way I keep in touch with some of my oldest friends, but now I might go weeks without opening it.

I have three to four Firefox addons dedicated to keeping it useable. I will not install the phone app for love nor money.

Two things really stand out to me.

I saw a unicyclist swerve and nearly wipe out avoiding a lamp post that he didn’t notice because he was looking at his phone.

I saw a goth dwarf scramble for safety in a service station forecourt because an oblivious woman was driving straight at him.

Why bother to breathe when you’ll just have to breathe again in a few seconds?

People talking about their suicidal feelings on the internet. Not sure why you’d want the whole world to know you’re feeling vulnerable, or what you think it can do to help. And people are so casual about saying it.

No money may only be one problem, but it’s a very big one.

I’d like to try being a lemur. Swinging through the canopy on those long arms, giving/receiving back scratches as a form of social currency and hooting at leopards when I feel like it.

Hard mode: Microsoft Teams.

Frickin’ company-mandated interruption generator…

If you’re an angel, on the head of a pin.

How many hours had you been awake?

Really? I can’t see yours.

I’ll share my favourites for when I need to calm the fuck down:

Island In Video Cassette from the Serial Experiments Lain Cyberia soundtrack

Duvet - Boa

Running Down a Dream - Tom Petty

Trampoline - Shaed

Teardrop - Massive Attack

Bullets - Archive

Lean On - Major Lazer featuring MØ

Human - Rag’n’Bone Man

Brand New Day - Sting

Drop The Game - Flume

Come Talk to Me - Peter Gabriel

Temple of Love - any version, Sisters of Mercy

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley cover

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Mr E’s Beautiful Blues - Eels

The average human skull has a volume of about twice the average bottle of wine. Thanks to your sacrifice, some artsy goth is getting wasted.

They are. I researched it because my mother wanted to grow a lemon tree from her cremains. Human ashes are too acidic for most plants to grow in unless you mix them with soil or compost. Which doesn’t seem at all respectful.

I don’t use AI for productive work, for the same reasons I don’t stir my soup with a dishrag.

Pretty good for recipes, tho’.

Should they bury you as well, or do you plan to be a year-round Hallowe’en decoration?

When my mother went, the hospital staff asked us if she was a donor.

Start eating paprika. Like, lots of paprika.