I hope it was the cream cheese

No i believe it was the one called “Big Explodey”

Don’t worry! His brother was the BOMB!

Get in there!

It’s fine. I’ll be forced to figure something out or become homeless. Yay being a millennial!

We’re supposed to be best friends, and we decided to move in together BUUUUUUUT he’s done literally everything he can to prove he’s selfish.

And when he’s called out on it he will Deny he did anything, Deflect and say I’m the one that’s overreacting and then if i stand my ground he whispers an apology at a volume where i cannot hear him even though he’s within arm’s reach.

No lie.

We had a talk where i told him rooming with people is difficult because in every situation I’ve been in the roommates have always been antagonistic and selfish. Told him all the things past roommates have done that crippled the living situation and he he has done all of it. But it’s supposed to be okay as long as he claims “it was a joke” or “we’re bffs I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

Edit: i know you’re making a joke but some of us can’t survive without a roommate to split bills with because not every job pays enough, and they basically laugh when we ask for a raise. I worked at a retail store 2 years ago that gasped when i told them 4-8hrs of work a week isn’t enough for anything.

I have a friend like this too. Except he intentionally slows down when a car comes up tona side street on the passenger side and says “hit us! Gimme that cheque!”

I told him the last time he did that shit “if we EVER het into an accident i am using any money ibreceive to fucking sue your dumbass for putting us in danger.”

Doesn’t do that anymore, but does enough other toxic shit for me to cut him out after this lease is up.

Bro there’s more than just women not voting. I’m in my 30s and still know ppl that refuse to vote because “it doesn’t matter,” and after each election those same folks complain.

You can’t change stupid past high school. Once someone commits to being dumb they’re lost.

Wait what?

F

Yeah there was a big overhaul of the UI with the release of 2.80. Then the devs just kept updating it and it’s past version 4.0 now.

Edit: but the white text box in OP’s meme isn’t a part of it.

Nice

Yes, it is.

Jared was really out there eatin’ fresh 🤢

It IS obvious though. Look at the closeup of the one wearing red. Now look at the sidewalk.

I’m getting into the habit of making oleo saccharum with any leftover citrus. Throw it in a jar with a bunch of sugar on it, and tomorrow you have syrup.

Tuberculosis

That would make sense if i were constantly saying that every time i was in a situation where i could say it. I’m not, so it doesn’t.

That’s just how it feels sometimes when people say “it’s just not your time yet.”

Yeah I’m just waiting for everyone to stop having fun so i can sort through sloppy 1/80s

NEDM