83% of commonly used household items could defeat this man. Versus a motion activated trash can? Fucker ain’t got a chance.

Hollowed eye sockets beneath the sunglasses. With eyes removed, no more notifications.

My parents smoked Reds indoors their entire life. I essentially smelled like an ashtray throughout childhood until I moved out for college. Even experienced respiratory issues throughout high school sports. Used to have to borrow my grandma’s portable O2 tank to use for practice breaks. I feel this, and I hate it.

I’ve been mildly addicted to Threes for nearly 13 years now. It’s my go-to when having to wait for anything, which is especially handy when you’re as impatient as I am (getting old). Also keeps me from doom scrolling. Just best score chasing, run based, number matching goodness.