volvoxvsmarla

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  • 257 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it’s vague in that sentence - no, I don’t mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn’t care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.

    Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like “honey, it’s ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don’t think it’s bad at all”, but just be like “look, it doesn’t matter, we’ll just sleep here”. Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.

    The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don’t care about. But saying “I don’t care about the outcome of something that you care about” is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.


  • Could it be because decision making is hard and you end up telling your partner that you a) don’t care about what they care about b) leave them hanging when they might need help to decide c) they end up having decision fatigue because you don’t have an opinion? Sometimes, a consultation or just a talk about something one tries to make a decision on feels good, doing it all by yourself sucks.

    Let’s say you don’t care what hotel she books. She ends up doing all the research on hotels. Presents you with it, pros and cons. You still say you don’t care. Ok, so now the burden of choice is solely on her. You guys arrive, the hotel sucks. Can’t you see that this is frustrating in a different way than if the two of you decided on the hotel together?




  • Very honestly, since I was a child I wanted to be burned to a point where the flesh is gone but the bones are still intact and have the bones buried.

    I think it is even possible to do that in Austria but I live in Germany and obviously no one is going to spend time, money, and energy on these shenanigans once I am dead. But if I could selfishly wish for a way, this would be it. There are reasons for why I don’t want to be buried and why I don’t want to be cremated and this would feel… The rightest.



  • I wasn’t the most popular growing up and I remember becoming popular and developing a larger friends group in late high school. Above all, I remember going out for pizza when I was 17. At home, we always shared a small (frozen or delivery or restaurant) pizza - me, my sister, and my mom. Eating pizza meant having a slice or two for dinner (with salad, there was always salad). So this also always meant prior discussions on the toppings. Therefore, going out with new friends, I was highly confused why no one was really engaging in my question about what kind of toppings they want, everyone was just stating what they want and gonna get and I was hella confused. When it occurred to me that everyone was going to order a whole pizza for themselves I couldn’t believe it. I don’t remember what happened next, I only remember the horrible realization that everyone is going to buy a pizza and eat this food, that to me was absolutely meant to be shared, by themselves like psychopaths, a whole family meal, for each person. And that this was the normal way to do it. As I said, I don’t know what happened next, but I don’t really like pizza to this day - maybe something happened that day, I don’t know.

    Thank God I found a spouse who likes to share a small pizza and can’t have more than 2-3 slices tops either.


  • It’s so sad to see this, especially knowing that while you can like or dislike Clinton and Pelosi, I doubt they are unware that Sanders is not proposing socialism. Socialism and social democracy are two very, vastly different things. And they for sure know this very well.

    I sincerely hope that Sanders will found a new party soon, it will have 4 years to gain momentum. Will it win in the next election cycle? No, but it might actually get enough votes to win in 8 or 12 years. Just do it.