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How dad are you?
No, it’s “dad, how are you?”
Bonus point
I’m checking enough that I stopped counting
4, no surprise, I am not fit to be a parent.
Maybe 4? Less than I thought.
A lot of these are just normal things people say. Like, “what’s the damage” is just a normal way to ask a price in English.
My dad always used to say to me “how much is this gunna rip me off” when looking for the price tag/sticker in store. I didnt realise this was tounge in cheek until when i started to venture out on my own, i said this to a shopkeeper and got this look from him… Instantly realised my mistake.
⬆️ This guy’s a dad
I’m a single woman with no kids. :(
That’s what you thought. Now you know you’re a dad!
damn. I must have kids somewhere !
(add it to the list)
A lot of these are default reactions in Germany (also by women).
Eight-ish? Dad of two nearing fifty so I guess I’m on par for the course.
One is discovered thanks to US memes is the dad uniform including New Balance. I bought some NB when I was in China and I have to say they really are comfy.
The one about awkward loads is hilarious to me. Because it really is true though. You can lift a shit ton more if you’ve a good grip! I can hardly lift a washing machine, but I can carry one on my back without issue.
You’re about to have 48 more kids?
Been a die hard for New Balance since college. It’s just a good shoe, dad-ness not withstanding
Zero points actually.
Maybe “horses”, thats at least a bit possible since I would notice and look at them.
I don’t know, can you?
Answering yes to a one or the other question
Monty Python and/or Naked Gun quotes
I’m a childless dude in his 40s and I tick several if you replace “kids” with other family/coworkers/etc.
I like to yell “HEY!” and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the “a-doy” look. I think she secretly loves it though.
Try shouting “Jesus!” when you see a church with a sign about Jesus.
Or give their noggin a tap when you see a “bump a head” sign
I only have one of these. And all my coworkers tell me I have the best dad jokes. I kind of feel like a fraud.
4½ out of 20 for me. I really need to step up my game!
My dad always said “let’s rock and/or roll” for departure.
I yearn to say “In the pipe, five by five” but I don’t have the right public for that quote :/
That’s … comms talk, right? 5×5 means max strength and clarity, I think. In the pipe, not so clear.
It’s when you are being double penetrated by 2 guys with average sized penises.
