I am talking about love in the sense of romantic love. I am very short and ugly which makes me very unattractive. Never had a girlfriend or touched a girl. I have many girl friends but one of them was my crush but I never asked her as I knew she would never like me. I know people will say that just get successful and rich and girls will like you, but will they like me or just money. What is the point of dating then. Is there any way I will get genuine love or am I destined to live alone for life.
All the girls say they want a tall guy, I can’t grow my height, trust me I tried, I visited the doctor, I tried exercise, I tried hormones, I tried a special diet that some random YouTuber told me, I tried everything. I can’t become tall for you. I am still thinking about limb lengthening surgery, The doctor said it is very risky and very possible I could never walk, but I want to take every chance possible. Trust me I tried. As soon as I get money I am doing surgery. This was my limit I can’t go beyond that.
Looks and height aren’t as big factors as you think. Anyone who rejects you based on your looks or height was never going to be a good partner regardless of your looks or height. Carry yourself with confidence (fake it til you make it if ya gotta) and you’ll find a lot more success. Also, rejection isn’t life ending. No Means Next. Don’t let it destroy you.
Have some interests and hobbies you genuinely enjoy. Be funny and able to make good conversations. Be a mensch. As you age, as well, that will matter A LOT more in dating than looks or height.
And get off the dating apps. They all suck for everyone.
Also, if you aspire to “improve yourself” to this end, make sure you’re doing it FOR YOURSELF first and foremost. Not for love or sex or dating or any of that. If you put that up on a pedestal as your goal, it’ll make it that much harder to maintain your good habits when things don’t work out as you hope they will. If you want someone to love you, be someone who you love first.
Also also, a lot of this is far easier to say and read than it is to do, and that’s okay. You cannot expect yourself to internalize a new mentality overnight nor is the path to success in any goal a straight line up. It’s okay to do well some days and not well others, remind yourself you’re on an upward trajectory in the long run and that it’s okay to fall back a bit because you’ll bounce back from it in the future.
I am 5’4". I’ve only recently dropped below 200 lbs. I’ve been with my current partner for years and before then I was a fucking SLUT. Don’t be your own enemy in this and you’ll do just fine.
I still don’t know where I’d find someone not on dating apps, I can only think of clubs or something but I definitely do not enjoy being there
Sorry, but your first paragraph is very flawed
What do you mean?
Don’t feed the troll dude.
I think men can often get stuck in ruts where they become their own worst enemies, especially in dating. They have a plethora of media telling them half truths and skewed perspectives that create a feedback loop of negativity and self-fulfilling prophecy. Fuck, I’d be lying if I said I never had similar thoughts.
Even if OP can’t escape that today and instead posted this to hear answers that affirm this defeatist ideology, other readers may benefit the good advice others have put in this thread.
You first said looks and height are not major factors. Are you not aware how much height is important for girls In dating. Ask any girl what type of guy she wants and tall is always in answer. Height is most important for girls. Now your second sentence is that if someone rejects you for height then they are not good partners, but the guys who are 6ft tall have no problem in dating a girl who says she will never date a guy below 6ft. So this is just a cope saying that if someone rejects you for height they are not good partners. In fact the guys who say that, they will date a girl who says I don’t date below 6ft if they are given chance.
Whatever group online you’re commiserating with about this stuff is wrecking you.
There is no such group
You need to isolate the person in your head telling you this, take them out back and shoot them dead. This is a defeatist attitude and it’s simply hindering you. Not only that, it’s only superficially true. It doesn’t conform with a wider wealth of personal experiences that myself and many others certainly have.
This. This way of thinking is your biggest enemy.
It is not a way of thinking it is just the truth.
Naw dude, it’s manufactured and it’s limiting you. Others may participate in this manufactured concept but its still manufactured. You’re not gonna overcome that until you figure out how to destroy the part of you that believes this.
What is wrong in believing truth
Is it truth that no unattractive, short man has ever had a relationship without being rich? No. That means it’s possible, which means it’s possible for you. But frankly, it’s not going to happen if you are in your own head about it.
The only truth here is the one you choose. There are upward of seven billion people in the world. The truth you chase is the one that becomes your reality, especially when it comes to your relationships with other people.
To answer your question; believing yourself to be ugly and that woman only date men taller than you is a bigger factor in your ability to find a partner than the woman who dont date short and/or nonconventionally attractive men.
What would you say if I told you there are girls who actually prefer short guys? Hell, some people just like variety–I appreciate tall women, short women, medium women. I like 'em all.
Having said that, I have met the girls you’re referencing. They do exist. A few months back, I went on a coffee date with a girl. Just before it, she made some joke about wanting to make sure I’m tall, because she hates dancing with guys who are shorter than her, so she just wanted to make sure. I wanted to vomit. I very rarely encounter a girl taller than me. I’m ~6’1, maybe pushing a little higher on a good day when my posture is okay. I want nothing to do with a girl who so values my height. Because if it’s THAT important, you’re literally one 6’3 guy away from a relationship crisis. By the way, the reason she was like that? She was taller than average. She was insecure and taking it out on everyone else. But imagine if I’d said to her, “I’m sorry, I just prefer shorter women. I find them more feminine.” Gross. She was surprised when I didn’t bother to hug her or…anything else, really…after coffee. Just got in my car and left. Whether you’re tall or short, that’s a bad match.
There are girls who are like you say, but they are absolutely not all like that. You just need to focus on a better class of prospect.
Where are girls who like short men, I bet you will find them lmao. What are the chances 0.000000001 % or lower
They’re out there. But if that’s your attitude towards life then none of them will like you.
This is what Andrew Tate actually believes.
That asshole is more deserving of age restriction than porn - if you ever hear a nephew bring him up you need to stomp that shit out immediately. What a fucking clown.
Weird, then why did 6’4" me have such a hard time until my late 20s?
As a short dude you couldn’t be more wrong. Get off incel forums and go talk to real people. Just make sure you shower first.
Ohh now I get why I am not getting girls, I never took a shower since birth, thanks for advice man
Yeah I get it. If there’s not attraction, it goes no further.
I’d suggest you get into a venue with more women and ask them (assuming this is the audience you want to woo)
And then second: get out in the real world. Attraction as a filter works on your side IRL. Anyone who keeps talking to you is already past your looks.
Also, have you considered a career that is associated with money?
My crush, who was my friend once openly said to me how she likes tall guys. I was there, she knew I was not tall and she said this in front of me. There was an old survey on Reddit and it proved the same thing that height is most Important for women. And that survey was 7 -8 years old, today’s conditions are even worse.
You’re giving her way too much free real estate in your head. Better to use it as fuel/a chip on your shoulder, if at all.
How can you use it as fuel
Get in good shape, if you’re not already. “I’ll show you what I’m capable of. I’m going to find someone better.” That kind of deal. It works. That’s what I did when what I believed to be the love of my life (she called me her soul mate!) up and married some German douche. While still claiming she loved me, to boot. Better to not focus on people like that, at all, but that’s not always realistic. So if you must feel pain from it, why not decide to make it the pain of self-improvement?