I need one of these but for tesla recalls

Me talking to my brain when I’m trying to sleep

The perfect gift for that 1 family member you just absolutely can’t stand being I the same house with

I dont think so, you can tell by the shadow on the right

Are you insane? I’ll assume it’s a sphere, thank you very much

Shut the fuck up Mario, Luigi is hot! You’re the ugly one here!

“No I don’t have a doctorate, I just do it for the sport”

No but I get that a lot

Idk, literally the whole reason we’re looking at space rocks under a microscope is to see if there’s microbes from other planets. Those would literally be aliens. It’s one of the strongest arguments against sending humans to Mars, because we’re trying find evidence that life existed or not, and bringing bacteria to Mars would fuck it all up

Ignoring Sadam, it always fucks me up that my arm bones cross. Like wtf whyyy

Then I’m wanted in 138 countries (for crimes unrelated)

Omg those paws 😍

It’s easier than explaining sometimes

It’s a bit extreme, I just need one straight through my temples

I bet not, you only think about yourself

The look of no regrets

Y’all is gender neutral, do so I imagine it’s fine

Edit: typo lol

Because the one on the right is funnier

Counterargument: a centaur is a human torso on a horse’s neck, so it’s the right one