“So you’re saying as a 53-year-old adult person you soil yourself whenever you see anything that even remotely resembles a bunny. When do you think that phobia started?”

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Have a look at Automate (like Tasker but with free features). It has a Content Shared module as input. Then you can process and output its text. Might be worth a try for what you’re trying to do.

Another silent change in the latest update, at least on my phone, is that the assistant disregards media volume levels and screams its feedback on full volume. It wasn’t like this until a week ago. Restarting, playing with settings, adjusting the volume as she screams, nothing helps.

So if I ask her to do something late at night she goes, “OKAY I WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ASKED ME TO DO AND WILL ANNOUNCE IT TO THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE PROCESS”

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PC LOAD LITTER

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That can also be your poor fucking housemate if you got one. One day, after 5 snoozes at 5am, I went to the dude’s door and yelled, “Either get the fuck up or I’ll pour an ice-cold bucket of water over your head and bed the next time it rings!” I wasn’t joking. He never used the snooze function again.

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Seems like it’s dashy.

Yep, this is it.

Not an app, but I’ve become quite a fan of MerrySky recently on both mobile and desktop.