2025 obligatory alternatives to social distancing:

-Isolate in the office, just never go home (and keep working of course)

-Instead of not going to work, you can get a free brain worm at one of the new brain worm dispensaries

-ingest a lethal dose of Ivermectin

-Storm and plunder one of the official buildings on the list published on the Department of Patriotism’s website (must bring own gallows parts)

Says right there: they dug to find them. Actually finding them might have better chances elsewhere, on account of the bodies being elsewhere, but the light was better here and they didn’t have to walk that far.

Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?

How else would one mass-produce gullible, uneducated voting cattle to exploit and fleece?

1. Take onions.
2. Pickle them.

Turns out Epstein didn’t commit suicide after all: He just fell out of his notoriously unsecured cell window on the basement floor while the cameras were off.

“Fell out of window.”

“He was on the ground floor.”

“Fell out of window and face-planted twenty-six times.”

That’s four fewer witnesses, win - win. If a Tesla horribly fails in the woods and nobody’s left to report it, did it really fail? The answer is no, keep giving Musk your money.

This is the way

Countdown until Musk sues every single one of them for the crime, no treason of not giving him all their money.

No idea but that’s the point of view of that picture. The view clearly being my stance, not the series.

And then have an out-of-body experience where you watch yourself doing that from the outside.

But EA clearly know how to rake in money with the yearly version of SportsGame 2021 2022 2023 2024. They are expected to make just as much cash by releasing the exact same movie every year. Who knows, maybe they’ll add microtransactions.

Countdown until it turns out that everybody associated with any competition to Musk’s companies just so happens to be a criminal Trump siccs his DOJ after: 5… 4…

1. Not true at all. Vile lies spread by the Democrats.
2. Okay, maybe it is true, but it’s actually a good thing.
3. Okay, maybe the results are catastrophic, but it’s actually the Democrats’ fault. The solution is higher tariffs.

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

Oh no, cover your ears, poor innocent American! You heard nothing.

This is almost as bad as when we had to carpet bomb another village to a crater last week to prevent the public from finding out that …

^{women have nipples too}

Hey! HEY! That is a vile insinuation! They’d never do that and also they only suppress votes for the other party and those don’t count anyway, so what if they do it when it’s perfectly fine seeing how they could never win if they allowed the election to be run fairly, and in conclusion, voter suppression is great and everybody should do it (except for non-republicans).

Wait, what were we talking about again?

But if the people who actually post something have not posted yet, or example because they were just born and thus too busy learning how to breathe to post yet, are they born cool even if they are then prevented from posting? Is a born-cool poster who loses the ability to post through a freak curling iron accident retroactively unborn cool? Is a born-cool poster who has yet to make their first post Schrödinger’s cool poster until they actually make their first post?