For me, the reaction depends on the relationship I have with the person.
“Buy something or I’ll ask you to leave again”
I doubt i would find someone who’s idea of it/taste in domination is exactly the same as mine
You would be surprised by how vast and diverse the Dom-Sub world is. Again, I’ve never been really inside that world, but by the accounts I’ve heard from a lot of people I’ve known, there is almost anything to anyone. It is only a matter of knowing where to look.
what if one partner wants to do it all the time and the other doesn’t?
That’s why it involves a lot of talking and consensual ennacting. You don’t simply go and say “hey I wanna be your dom” and discover things on the fly. You talk a lot with your partner or partners and clarify exactly what are you both looking for and how do you both like things. If both parts can’t agree in certain areas you can discuss it or simply choose to not go any deeper.
bet having treated your partner like a servant would change the way you see them a little bit.
Of course it would, you’re totally correct. But let’s be honest. Any kind of intimacy with another person changes the way you see them. You don’t see a girl the same way the first time you meet her and just after cumming inside her ass while you pull her hair and she calls you “daddy”.
but bondage seems okay
Then you could try Shibari. It’s a form of bondage with japanese influence that centers around erotic rope-play. Maybe that you could find enjoyable.
I want my partner to be enthusiastic enough about vanilla sex rather than needing to engage in these kinks. Hope that’s not considered an ignorant view of kinks.
No, that’s not ignorant at all. It’s a normal and fair concern. “What if we go too deep with the kinky stuff and we can’t enjoy normal sex again”. First of all, there is no vanilla or “normal” sex to begin with. Even missionary once a week is too kinky for some people. You should set some goals about trying stuff so you don’t feel you’re loosing yourself. What are you wanting to feel? to discover? what is something you consider “too much”? etc. Set goals and limits and that will help you to not get lost.
Yes. Some stuff I would never do in real life or with people I would never fuck in real life
A girl I met at school. We were renting apartments in the same building. We became friends and one day she asked me if I’ve watched Rick and Morty. I said that I hadn’t and she offered to lend me a thumb drive with the first season. I said yes and that night after school she went to my apartment wearing the tightest leggings I’ve seen and a tank top and asked if I wanted to watch it with her. I said yes and after the first one or two episodes we went to the kitchen for something to drink and she applied the old trick of “I’m so stressed, can you massage my neck?” I approached from behind her, barely touched her neck with my hands and she throwed her ass towards me. I immediately started kissing her neck, pulled her pants down and we fucked in the kitchen and never finished watching Rick and Morty
Domination stuff. Not BDSM per se, but some master-servant interactions. It looks hot from the outside to have that control of a person but talking to some people that like to participate in it, genuinely involves a lot of rules, scripts and energy to portray and enact.
Same. Incest is hot as portrayed in some media but it’s a problematic situation (to say the least) in real life
Honestly there isn’t a ritual or a procedure to follow. It depends on the mood, the place, etc. Sometimes if we go to a hotel with a hit tub in the room we get naked as soon as we enter the room and jump inside. Sometimes we simply dance and tell jokes and start kissing and making out on the bed and the clothes slowly come off. Sometimes the girls make a strip show for us, sometimes we just cuddle together watching a movie. There is no script to follow.
From our own experience I think strip poker or strip trivia are the best ways to get naked the first times you date another couple.
About finishing, honestly I don’t try to. Sometimes it happens (don’t know if the other dude is keeping pace) and sometimes one finishes first, sits on the bed or on a char and enjoys the view or gets some towels for when everybody has finished.
It is hot, at least for us, to watch each other having sex, like watching a porn were your partner is the protagonist. Also, nobody fucks the same. The way my GF fucks or is fucked by someone else is different than the way we fuck. The same applies to me. It is hot for us seeing each other having sex in a way we don’t usually do. Also, being with someone you’re not normally with is hot for us too. And finally and more important, it is fun. We date other couples and have a really good time. We even have dates with other couples where we don’t even have sex: a normal night out but with the added bonus of flirting without guilt or shame.
My GF and I met several years ago and we always were a horny and playful couple, so we started talking about other people while having sex and started making jokes about having sex with other people really early in the relationship. So we didn’t really had a lot of trouble taking a step towards being swingers. We did threesomes with some friends and everything was ok most of the time so we also dated some couples we know.
Most important thing is, I think, to always tell the truth to your partner and have some sort of rules, but also remember that rules will be modified over time and that both need to be aware of that.
I imagine his parents didn’t had rough and loudsex daily. He invited me to stay thinking it won’t happen but it did. And, yes, I get your point. His parents didn’t really cared that his son was having a sleepover. I give the parents a chance because MAYBE they weren’t aware that his son could hear them… MAYBE
I remember that feeling.
TLDR: Having loud sex your kids can hear on purpose or doing it not caring if the kids can hear it, is inherently wrong IMHO.
My family was kinda open to nudity in the inner circle or at least we didn’t saw it as something “shameful” or “bad”. We were from the coast and we used to spend a lot of time at the beach, so we were used to be around each other in bathing suits or underwear. My parents were also that kind of couple where my dad used to constantly slap my mom’s ass even in front of us (as kids or even as adults). He used to kiss my mom deeply and passionately in front of us and from time to time even grab a boob playfully and doing sounds (yeah, my dad was that kind of weird dude you meet at a bar and is telling to everybody the grossest and unfunny-est jokes you’ve ever heard). So, my sister and I grew up seeing slightly “dirty” behaviours as something natural (maybe as something “lame” adults do) or, at least, something you don’t mind that much.
That being said, my parents always were careful to not have loud sex around us and we only noticed they had sex when we were like 12 and 14. Mi bedroom and also my sister’s bedroom where not contiguous to my parent’s bedroom and we had a brick house, so we were somewhat shielded against noises from my parent’s bedroom. One time, my sister’s bedroom was being remodelled so she had to move to a spare room next to my parents’ bedroom. She heard them having sex and she totally knew what they were doing. She told me the next morning and we weren’t shocked nor traumatized, just found it “funny and gross” and we laughed at the idea while she was telling me.
Now, for the traumatizing part, I had a friend at middle school wich I once had a sleep-over with. Just the two of us playing videogames at his house. Everything was normal up until like 10:00 PM when his parents went to “sleep” and as soon as we heard the door of her parents’ bedroom closing, my friend’s demeanor changed and he went somber. Then, after like 12-15 minutes we started hearing his mom moaning and the bed creaking and moving. We both stayed silent for a momment and then he put something on the tv and amped up the volume, but he looked pissed, grossed and ashamed. I tried to change subjects but obviously he wasn’t having a good time. I can’t tell if that affected him as an adult as I haven’t seen him since we graduated middle school, but at least at that momment I can tell he was having trouble with it.
So, I guess it depends in the way you do it. If it’s by mistake I can’t blame them. If it’s on purpose or without care, I think I see it as something wrong. And I think it affects the kids, not only on the long rub but in the immediate momment.
Not all the time. Only after sex, hen she wipes there are some traces of blood on the paper, but we’ll check that. Thx
Didn’t knew about that. A couple times she bleed a bit. Thank you for the tip.
Not nudes per-se but once I found the IG of one of my sister’s HS friends and she had lots of risquee pics. The same with a coworker some years ago. Again, not nudes but found out she had an OF account.
the first thing people need to know about nudism is that the #1 practitioners of it are wrinkly old people
Yep. Totally agree. Part of being a nudist is accepting all bodies.
just an exhibitionist.
I’ve found worst people… the ones that are not even exhibitionists, but they don’t even get nude, they only want to stare at hot people naked and get angry/offended when they see a body that barely escapes their definition of perfection.
it’s a question of safety/feeling safe, both for you and for the other person
Yeah, I thinki that might be it. I still cannot put it into words but I think what you’re saying is reasonable. If I don’t know them I’m not really concerned with what they will think of me or think at all in the situation. If I know them, I know they won’t judge me and are ok with me being naked around. But when I barely know them I guess I feel enough compromise to care what they think about but I don’t know them enough to feel ok.
I think seeing me strip down for skinny dipping unprompted made her uncomfortable - probably the last time I will ever be so careless in who I’m nude around.
Yeah, I know that feeling. Not in HS, but at the Uni, me and my GF knew a girl from one of our courses. She was more like a common friend than one of hers exclusively so I felt enough confidence around her. Once we invited her home to talk and drink. I worked after school so the plan was to take a shower and leave the girls alone for the night. I went to take a shower and I was dumb enough to come out of the shower when they were talking in the living room (our apartment was a rat-hole, super small and the only bathroom’s door lead to the hallway that connected the kitchen, our room and the living room). I mean, I wasn’t even naked. I had a towel covering my junk but that was enough for our friend to get angry, leave and she totally stopped talking to me. My GF also got mad cus she thought I was trying to make the move on our friend right there but honestly I was simply stupid enough to come out of the shower at the wrong time.
I feel the same sometimes. My job sucks, so sometimes I wish I came home and my GF and any of her cute friends were there, waiting for me with cold beer, a bad but funny movie to watch together as we laugh our asses off and kiss together and then fuck like animals to end it up all in our bed, hugging and caressing our backs
Don’t stop trying. But always be subtle and respectful. My GF wasn’t into any kinky stuff and now we enjoy doing things that she would have been honestly offended her, even suggesting them, some years ago. Explain to her the things you want, in the right moment, listen to her and be honest. I know it is harder than it sounds, but I hope you’ll achieve something positive
I’m sorry, dude. I know it means nothing but I send you a digital hug to wherever you are right now.
Same