Monkeytennis

I know what you mean, but it would depend on my current situation. Assuming I’ve had to find another job with short notice (and I’m still in my probation period) it could be a great opportunity to leverage a massive pay increase, then spend the next year planning a proper move.

I wouldn’t list it as separate employment on my CV, unless I knew it was going to be scrutinised, in which case, it’s easily explained and reflects pretty well - they wanted me back.

Coddling has the negative connotation - to consistently overprotect. Occasional spoiling is an entirely different and good thing.

You missed my point. I’m ignoring nothing, I’m suggesting OP seek out men who will be supportive, because they’re not hard to find.

I’m certain I could find studies as proof, but don’t we all already know this to be true?

Plenty of men can deal with this, and plenty of women can’t. It’s not helpful to see this as a gender thing, you’ll only feel more alienated. You might want to seek out some new social connections?

I’ve been though divorce recently and despite being very amicable, it’s caused me to reset - some things broke, but being more emotionally open has been one of the good things. I’m still pretty reserved but a few things are different:

• I care a lot less about conforming to “ideals” or how anyone judges me. That means I no longer feel the fear and second guess everything I say.
• When appropriate, I ask people - especially other men - how they’re doing and gently push for a genuine answer. No one’s reacted negatively to that, so far.
• With my kids, I simply do the opposite to my father. I tell them I love them, I take an interest in them, and I take their feelings seriously. I don’t coddle them, but I want them to feel secure and confident in talking to me. They’re still young, so we’ll see.
• During work 1:1s, I take a genuine interest in people, most will subtly drop hints that they had a bad weekend or are feeling tired or stressed. I used to gloss over that, now I’ll ask about it and say I’m happy to listen. A surprising number will go on to share, with the bonus that it builds trust.
• If someone asks how I am, I won’t lay it all out for them, but I’ll be honest. Most people empathise and tell you they’ve been through similar. It’s never been awkward, and I’ve found out nearly everyone I know is pretty anxious and is going through difficult stuff.

As an aside, I never watched much porn because I found it so cold and alienating. It’s interesting that you found the opposite. Anyway, I’ll stop there and wish you well!

That’s a very good idea. Hopefully I’ll never need it, but great advice.

Haha, yeah you might be onto something there. It felt like a way to pull the rug from under people to see how they cope, which wasn’t nice. I try to put people at ease in interviews, rather than try to catch them out.

I was ambushed with a “so, what do you do for fun?” once and the sudden context switch made me pause for so long that I must’ve seemed like I had no life outside of work 😬

The only possible use I could imagine, was to test how people respond to irrelevant stupid questions, since that happens a lot in some workplaces. Do they get frustrated and make it awkward, or shrug it off politely.

In my industry, practical interviews are very common, but they’re not always reliable. I can get as much from asking someone about their process and being talked through a case study they’ve chosen, as giving them a practical exercise to perform on the spot. I’d usually do both.

I’m not disagreeing with the overall inefficiency and frustration of the whole process, I’ve felt it on both sides. It’s messy - bad or overstretched HR teams, slow managers, unclear budgets, poor choice of tech platforms…

That’s terrible, I hope it all worked out, but absolutely never say anything until you’ve both signed a contract unless you’re looking for a counter offer, which is risky AF.

People pull out of informal agreements all the time, it’s not an employer thing - legal issues, real estate, appointments, competition prizes, dates…

I feel like these are the real issues - I can’t tell if OP is meant to be a joke … “You forget to check the website and you miss the time”. I mean, that’s on them. Also it seems pretty easy to blag the words an interviewer wants to hear, the real danger is that the job IS NOT as advertised.

The number of interviews I used to sit in on, and wonder WTF the interviewer was thinking… One asked a service designer “if you were a type of cake, what would you be?”

It’s the least offensive type of advertising I see day to day. I couldn’t care less how my listening data is shared, and I don’t understand the zero tolerance some people have for adverts - it’s not all bad.

If they ramp up the adverts, people will vote with their feet.

Can I get this button for IRL?

I’ve been cutting my own for years, never considered using a taper guard. Hmm.

Same here. WTF do I do with a history degree… Joined a helpdesk because I liked fixing tech, transitioned to web development because that was more fun, spent years enjoying learning and progressing, then moved into UX because that was more rewarding (and less stressful).

I’m glad I gravitated towards IT because it gave me a lot of freedom and choice - and the money was always good.

I’d be careful with the “follow your hobbies” advice, I’ve known a lot of frustrated people who feel they’ve wasted years studying / trying to get a job in video games, acting, that sort of thing. Seems you have to be in the top 1% and have a ton of luck or connections to stand a chance.

I agree, ghosting is necessary in many situations. Am a guy, have reluctantly ghosted both men and women (from a casual friend / professional point of view, rather than romantic) not because I think I’ll be yelled at (or worse) but if the vibe is wrong, it’s self protection - I don’t want to engage with them, full stop.

Seems more like Lemmy users are building up a mythology. “I was there in the early days. Remember poop and beans?”

Yeah, for a fair comparison the standard definition of “active user” is just viewing posts. Not sure why Lemmy sets the bar so high. Maybe they don’t care about vanity stats - besides mild curiosity, I couldn’t care less.

Posting or commenting seems more like “contributing users” and posts like this just encourage unhelpful noise.

No, in most situations it’s needlessly germ phobic and wasteful. Using copious sheets of paper or a liner which gets flushed or goes in the bin is objectively a bad thing.

City sewers are often a wreck because people treat toilets like a magic black hole.

I will pay full price, day one