This is a deeply personal question only you can answer.
The other piece is impact on other children.
I was privy to one situation in which the mother told the father she would divorce him if he did not agree to place their heavy needs child in a home. Why? Their two other children didn’t know their father and the entire household revolved around 1 person instead of the family unit except on private outings between the two non-special needs kids and the mom, who scrambled to give them normal kid experiences. Caring for this needs child became all the father did when at home. Sometimes caring was sitting in the room with the heavy needs child, a child content in a bed, unable to walk or communicate (congenital) to the exclusion of the other children.
We have all probably read those Reddit threads from kids who were screaming into a thread about hating their special needs sibling as well.
Consideration needs to be made for every member of the family unit. And healthcare being what it is lately, outside the home care options may not be as available today.
Nothing about this is easy and there is no one right answer.
Prey is worth your time.