I might as well go first:

Thou shalt seed what you download (You’ll understand in a few thousand years)

Thou shalt not push to prod on Fridays

• Do not treat people or animals as things
• Consent first from others, especially your family
• The Earth and it’s creatures should be shepherded and guarded, not exploited
• No gods, no kings, no rulers - instead have empathy, sharing, and collaboration
• It’s round you nimrods, because that’s how gravity works

Final line:

Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that’s why I made you.

One saying slavery shouldn’t happen would be nice.

Thou shalt not fuck kids. They definitely meant for that to be in there, right? Guys…?

The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.

1. Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it

2. Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying

3. Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules

4. Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder

5. Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person’s rightful union

The five missing ones are:

11. Acknowledge the central point.
12. Thou shalt not soapbox.
13. Thou shalt not decontextualise what others say.
14. Thou shalt not claim intentions to defend thine or someone else’s actions.
15. Thou shalt not convey “I disagree” through feigned lack of understanding.

Bonus: the original version of the 8th was

8. Thou shalt not claim with certainty things that you do not know for certain.

The current 8th (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour) is a forgery. Some assumer got called out over and over because of the older 8th, since he really liked to make shit up, so he restricted it into near uselessness. Source: I’m Lucifer, I know it. :^)

“Thou shalt boil water before drinking it” would probably have saved a staggering number of lives. That and a handwashing commandment together would’ve been a home run for pre-industrial survival rates. “Thou shalt not trust a fearmonger” would also be a good, if perhaps self-defeating commandment.

The 10 commandments divide into two sections. Rules for the relation between people and God and rules for the relation between people and other people. 5 more would probably setup a third section. Like rules for the relation between people and nature or rules for one’s relation to oneself.

11. Forgive your brother who has wronged you as you would want him to forgive your own transgressions.

12. Honor creation and take only what you need from the mountains, streams, woodlands, and valleys.

13. Respect the creatures of the earth as your brothers in creation.

14. Avoid excesses and live humbly

15. Love yourself for you were created in My image

Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.

They’re on the prop from Mel Brooks’ History of the World Part I

The other tablet only had one commandment, chiseled extra large for emphasis:

Above all else, do no harm.

Thou shalt not be a poo poo head

Thou shalt not hold unbelievers to the moral standards thou agreedest to and that only applyeth to thee

Thou shalt not giveth a shitteth about shitteth that is not thine own

Thou shalt not kill