I should be studying right now, but everytime I sit to study, I can’t sit there long enough, I want food even though I am not hungry, I want to watch TV/youtube, self-pleasure… etc…
No matter what productive work I want to do, I will try to not do that and do something which gives me momentary pleasure. I want to masturbate, eat lots of food even though I am not hungry while watching TV/Youtube and I don’t seem to be able to break the cycle and it’s destroying me. How can I break the cycle and do something good for a change instead of pleasuring myself in the moment meaninglessly?
deleted by creator
Self discipline is a skill in itself and it is something you can learn.
At it’s most basic you restrict things you want and make them a reward for doing a task.
It can be hard to restrict things as you say. When I used to study, I used to go to a “3rd place” to do it. That is somewhere that is not home or work - I used to go to a library. In that environments you don’t have TV, or food, and hopefully you won’t be masturbating.
Mobiles can be very difficult though - if you can’t stop yourself using your phone to watch YouTube then either leave it at home (I know, shocking idea in this day and age!) Or install parental locking/anti distraction software that locks your phone down for certain periods. This can help you learn self discipline with your phone.
Similarly if you study with a laptop, then look at anti distraction tools to keep you focused on your work rather than surfing or on YouTube.
The reward side is very important. You need to be consistent and follow through on your promises to yourself. Don’t use unrealistic rewards - like “if I study for 6 hours today I’ll have dinner tonight”. You’re going to have dinner anyway, and you don’t want to go down the road of punishing yourself. Make it a favourite meal, or promise to watch next episode in a favourite TV show.
The idea is that you will be still enjoying those things because you will study and work. But be prepared to deny yourself those things if you fail to reach your goals in the beginning.
Self discipline is hard, not least because you can cheat yourself too easily. But it’s worth putting in the effort, and the forced physical separation from the distractions and rewards at home makes it easier.
Why would anyone wanna be productive if not for the sake of pleasure? Why even live? Get your priorities straight and then do the math. This shit is investment!
This sort of dopamine-seeking behaviour can be a symptom of ADHD (though it’s not the only possible reason)
I say at this point, 100% of people have ADHD. It’s mentioned at every turn.
Lemmy User: Asks for advice
Lemmy: ADHD
It’s worth noting that, now that people have had a few hours to vote, none of the most upvoted replies mention ADHD.
And that’s honestly not a positive. People out there don’t get diagnosed until their 30s because they never seriously considered it. Not saying OP has ADHD, but dismissing it outright without more exploration is potentially harmful.
potentially harmful
Oh for fuck sake. No, failing to give a voice to the hypochondriacs who bleat about every medical condition under the sun in any random social media thread isn’t “potentially harmful” by any stretch of the imagination. Frankly, constantly obsessing over such things is itself causing harm.
What you’re looking for is Stoicism. You can start with Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations or Epictetus’ Enchiridion.
Going into tone-deaf dad mode…
Come to the realization that you have shit to do and it’s time to grow up and get it done.
To be clear, for people with ADHD, this is toxic advice that only causes harm. Can’t speak for anyone else.
It really isn’t toxic. It’s reality. And there is zero evidence of any diagnosed condition from the OP, just the usual Internet conjecture which is what makes a site like Reddit a cesspool. I’d much rather not see that happen in the Lemmy ecosystem, but sadly it seems like it is. OP asked for advice on what to do, and instead people medically diagnose them. That, to me, given that it’s very unlikely anyone here is a licensed medical professional, seems much more harmful than simply telling someone it’s time to grow up.
Good luck, @Subject6051@lemmy.ml . I wish you success in your endeavors. It might be a good idea to ignore the Internet when it comes to your well-being.
Roughly 13% of the world is diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, there are plenty of people who should not get that diagnosed, and yes, plenty of people fall through the cracks when they get screened. However, I’ll assume those 2 groups are roughly equal and cancel out.
It is VERY clear that he has one of the many symptoms of ADHD. Yes, that symptom alone could be caused by several conditions, which is what I mentioned in my post. However, everyone in this thread who suggested it might be ADHD specified to get it checked out. They did NOT say that they definitively have ADHD. Nobody in this thread made a diagnosis. They told OP to see a doctor because of their concerns.
Here is what your argument boils down to:
- If it’s a medical condition, you shouldn’t talk about it at all
- Because there are far more people without ADHD than with, you should speak as if ADHD people basically don’t exist.
1 is a laughable argument because if this were a post about a physical condition, like a weird bump, it would definitely be acceptable to tell someone to go see a doctor.
2 is basically saying that language shouldn’t be inclusive of minority groups because minority groups “have to deal with reality.” That is an incredibly ignorant mindset to have, and if that’s how you think, I’m genuinely appalled.
If you yourself had ADHD or heavily researched the condition via doctor’s presentations or papers, you’d probably understand why people on the internet love to bring it up so much. The diagnostic criteria in some cases (for example, in the DSM-5) is god awful. Many doctors out there dismiss ADHD for stupid reasons like “it’s only for children!!” because they don’t understand it. There are too many doctors out there who only diagnose based on disproven stereotypes. The end result is a crap-ton of people who are screwed in life because they are ill-fitted to do the same stuff that the majority can do. Said people are screwed until they are 30 or 40 or 50 when they finally encounter a doctor that listens to them and considers something despite it being uncommon.
If you still think telling 800 billion people, “it’s reality,” is in any way productive and not harmful, I can’t help you.
You’re clearly on some crusade and don’t understand simple reason. I have no interest in debate. I replied to OP’s question, not to you. Good bye.
