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SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world to Showerthoughts@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Can serial killers sell their carbon offsets?

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Can serial killers sell their carbon offsets?

SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world to Showerthoughts@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • formergijoe@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Only if they kill billionaires with private jets.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Exactly we need serial killers who target nazis and right wing assholes. We could give them medals.

      • explodicle@local106.com
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        1 year ago

        There’s a reason those don’t exist.

        He’d get hunted down extra fast. The cops would unload full clips on random cars that just look like the killer’s car. They’d send every man they’ve got after the killer, and then burn down the cabin in which he’s hiding.

        Cops are right wing assholes and look after their own.

  • craftyindividual@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Do you mean that they have offset the emissions of all the people they murdered?

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      16 tonnes per person per year.

      • safesyrup@feddit.ch
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        1 year ago

        Spitting straight facts

        • AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Scientists said we had to take drastic measures to stop global warming.

          • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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            1 year ago

            If Taylor Swift knocked off a toddler she could have almost six hundred hours of guilt free private jet time.

            • maiskanzler@feddit.de
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              1 year ago

              She might even argue for significantly more hours if she wipes out an entire blood line at once.

              • twei@discuss.tchncs.de
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                1 year ago

                So what you’re saying is that the whole middle-east conflict is really just there to save the climate? /s

      • explodicle@local106.com
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        1 year ago

        Alternatively, 37 billion tons per SatansMaggotyCumFart per year.

        • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          Why do you think I’m worth so much?

          I’m flattered and flustered.

          • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            It would be such a twist if SatansMaggotyCumFart is actually Taylor Swift.

            • THE MASTERMIND@feddit.ch
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              1 year ago

              Lol that would be really something

          • explodicle@local106.com
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            1 year ago

            Why do you think the pollution is evenly distributed?

            • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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              1 year ago

              It’s spread in a thin layer across the world like semen at a crime scene.

              • explodicle@local106.com
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                1 year ago

                That’s a very charitable analogy, because most people don’t make any semen at all.

                • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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                  1 year ago

                  Are you a semen producer denialist?

  • ekZepp@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    They already can become mainstream celebrity and do a bunch of money selling their stories through books and movies. So why bother?

  • key@lemmy.keychat.org
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    1 year ago

    I think they might struggle with the legal work

    • explodicle@local106.com
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      1 year ago

      Finally a use for NFTs!

      • Carighan Maconar@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Eh, just another proposed use case where a simple normal database does the job much better. And without unnecessary carbon impact, you’re trying to sell the removal of those after all!

        • explodicle@local106.com
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          1 year ago

  • ElCanut@jlai.lu
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    1 year ago

    9/11 terrorists: I’m gonna make so much money with this

  • tim-clark@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    What about abortions?

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      They’re vogue and green too!

    • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      Using BCs!!

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