I just imagine driving past this sign on the way to a vacation spot with kids screaming in the car and just realising you forgot about the broken tent pole from the last trip that you meant to replace before this one, then the fuel blinker comes on just as you spill your drink on the dash because a toy got thrown at you. You see this sign as you drive by and it triggers something inside you, like a gaping maw opening to consume the last shred of humanity you have left as you resign yourself to a fate you still can’t figure out if you chose, or was imposed upon you by the chance circumstances of your life.

Breathe in, exhale, adjust for prevailing wind, sight down the scope and take out the chump who is hyperventilating in clear violation of the sign.

And if you’re still experiencing stress by the end of the day… YOU’RE FIRED!

This is going up on the office door at work.

I’m calm I’m calm I’m calm I’m calm

Stress Free Zone billed by the 1/4 hour, payable on exit.

Enforced by sniper

Don’t worry, if you wait 2 weeks the sniper will die of old age