I’d be afraid my dick would explode
He could have easily hit 80 if he was drinking C4.
In west Philadelphia born and raised…
Implying he would use lotion instead of lube. Fucking amateurs. If you’re a frequent wanker and you haven’t graduated to real fuckin lube then you’re a bit of a joke.
I’m pretty sure 36 cans of Red Bull would kill you. Humans can’t handle that much caffeine.
Can’t find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.
That seems right. The lethal dose of caffeine is 100mg per kilogram of bodyweight.
Nope. The LD50 of caffeine is between 150 and 200 mg/kg of body weight. And that’s only going to kill half the prior who take it. LD50 is also for instantaneous intake, consumption over time drastically increases it.
Uh that math doesn’t checkout. I weight 90 kg
There is ~110 mg Caffeine in Red Bull.
I think I would die long before I got anywhere near 80 cans of Red Bull.
The arch-gooner

Professional wankers switch hands every five minutes. It helps to rest each arm each session.
Feels like a different person
That’s a gooner move, resets the clock so you can go longer
Fake. 36 red bulls would literally kill a horse, let alone a human, even if they weighed as much as a horse.
Horses die from the dumbest shit tho
Lol, can’t their stomach’s like literally flip upside down and fuck everything up?
I don’t know about horses, but this can happen to dogs. The condition is called GDV. It happens without warning, and the only options are emergency surgery (gastropexy) or euthanasia.
PSA: A gastropexy is MUCH cheaper when done preventatively vs. on an emergency basis. If you get a puppy that is a deep-chested breed, get a gastropexy when spaying/neutering.
The emergency surgery for my senior retriever mix was $6k+ and a rough (for both of us tbh) recovery. I’ve known others who have lost their beloved dogs to GDV. It sucks
Nah … The info is not 100% conclusive but it’s a huge risk to say the least. Still, there is more that does not add up. 36 can’s equals 9 Liters (304 US ounce) of red bull … Try washing down 9 Liters of a super sugary (lightly-) carbonated drink.
The sugar could kill you in the long term, but I think here it’s the caffeine you should worry about.
The LD50 for caffeine in humans is 150-200mg/kg, so if you weighed only 36kg, that ain’t enough caffeine to kill you.
Go ahead and test those numbers yourself. Report back to us how 20 grams of caffeine goes.
Meanwhile, those of us that live in reality… https://youtu.be/wj_AOzSSDMM
One thing is how you’d feel, another is survivability. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine states that LD50 for oral caffeine ingestion in rats is 192ppm, and only estimates the value for humans. Wikipedia doesn’t exactly state it but it’s safe to assume that the surviving 50% of rats will definitely not have had a good time though.
But “36 red bulls” is how much? I can buy red bull in 0.25l and 0.5l cans in local stores, what is available in the US in unknown to me, so I’ll assume equivalent can sizes. So between 9l and 18l of red bull over about 11hrs. IDK that sounds like a lot of fluid no matter what. Maybe the electrolytes in the red bull will prevent water intoxication, but he’d definitely have had to pee a lot. Perhaps his kidneys would have a hard time following along with the excess electrolytes, but enough to become hypertonic?
Anyway a liter of red bull contains 320mg of caffeine, and thus 9l is 2.88g and 18l is 5.76g. Assuming a 100kg human body that’s 28.8-57.6ppm spread out over 11hrs.
Had the caffeine been ingested all at once, then he’d at worst have hit 30% of LD50. But given that the subject probably didn’t ingest 18l of fluid instantly, because then the story would include that in the title, the consumption was spread out. Elimination half-life for caffeine is 3-7hrs, meaning that the initial caffeine could be reduced to 1/8 by the end.
I don’t have the time to do the integral equations, but my best bet is that our subject plausibly could survive, but his kidneys, penis and psychiatric state could do with a check up.
I only feel sorry for the Guinness World Record judge
I just imagine them being very clinical about it. Just standing there with a clicker in one hand and a timer in the other.
Yet 48hrs before the ‘event’ at Guiness HQ

“Wait a minute, sir, I have to call my boss. Walter, do we count dry orgasms?”
there gotta be smell/texture/viscosity standards for the judges to know what counts
You gotta at least wear eye protection.
Imagine the smell 🤢
Pineappley?
Cummy
Funky cheese, relevant username
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there’s a whole train of women masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
y’all should try to break the record.
Collectively they may have
That’s one jerk every 9 minutes.
I can only imagine the pain in their balls and arm they must’ve felt after a while.
Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin

This pumpkin looks how I feel
Their dick probably didn’t look much better. Even with lube that’s gonna chaff after awhile and probably took off at least a layer of skin
“…after the previous holder died from his last attempt.”
He died doing what he loved…
…Himself

haha pump
don’t they send someone over to watch you break the record
Not just one but a bunch of nuts cum over.














