Actually hotter than any generic american english fake-sounding line.
I read that as geriatric and instantly got a boner.
you used two descriptors there (American and generic) can you tell us which of these is the bigger deal-breaker for you?
American, certainly. They porn is so standardized and hegemonic, even a simple euro accent is refreshingly titillating
I think you mean “their porn” and you realize there are 350 million Americans right? There are a lot of different accents
Sorry I’m not too familiar with “American porn” lol but maybe your bias is based in ignorance rather than experience? It’s a big country and I’m sure there are actors out there you’ll like.
Well, that’s all for now. Have a day.
Nah.
I guy I know picked up an aussie chick at the bar. Later, she apparently told him “I’m on a bleeder mate. You’ll have to chuck it up me dumper.”
what good is a sword if it never tastes blood?
In der Regel hatten die Wikinger rote Bärte.
The bigger ones get dragged through the mud.
That’s how you know she’s classy.
Spaff on me minge
Jizz on me knockers.
Come knock me up in the morning?
Yanks doing this shit is just so cringy
Thank you
*slaps nuts
Take a bow.
Imagine I just repeated that back to you in a really bad and exaggerated cockney accent, and adding afterwards “guvna!”
It’s all they have, as their entire society is so easily mockable. Give them a little pity.
It’s a top ten awr narr moment for us too, don’t worry.
Ano rite. As if having sex with their accents is a fucking treat 😅
“Can I get a refill?”
“Supersize me”
“Ow my chest”
“Don’t call an ambulance”
As an American I can confirm this is 1000% accurate.
When my wife asks me to super size her I pee in her butt.
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Euros sounding like that is just so cringy.
Instant finish.
I’m not seeing a problem here.
Nice try but sex isn’t real blud.
innit?
Fucking delicacy.
We Americans have to put up with a lot of justifiable criticism about a lot of American things, but my English dudes, THIS? Even Americans know better.
Ok so this is a shit photo, but seriously, go make it. Beans on toast is easy and brilliant.
Also, What’s going on with those beans? Heinz those are not!
heinz beans? what? just make some godsdamn bbq beans. go look up a recipe. hell, just go look up pioneer woman’s doctored canned beans if you need lazy beans, those are pretty damn good too just full of sugar.
I certainly would encourage anyone to cook it they have the time but the point of beans on toast, is it’s quick and easy. And Heinz is the best choice though an own brand is usually fine.
no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush’s beans. i don’t think i’ve given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,
i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i’m not doing straight up chili, i’ll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat’s rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin’s and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it’s done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it’ll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it’s worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer
Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There’s just no reason to put the two together.
Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.
some foods need bibs (or eatin’ shirts) and that’s okay.
i can’t remember what it was we were eating, but i smoked something good (it was our first time using cherry, and i was hungry). probably SLC ribs. i warned my wife she might want to move down the table a little bit because there was going to be a splash zone this meal (i had just dripped a big drop of food onto my lap, rolling all along my shirt, as was foretold by prophecy). her response was to dip her finger into her bbq sauce bowl and then flick it at me :3
I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.
I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.
When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.
so i’ve had a “benign tremor” my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i’ll get you the fabric blend.
one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I’m a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there’s a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it’s worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.
Knife and fork my dude. I tried it once and it was a fucking disaster. Beans everywhere.
If I was a wild hound born on an Indian trash heap, sure!
But have you ever actually eaten it? I’m going to say no because you wouldn’t be throwing shade otherwise.
It looks exactly like most Indian food, brown goo is nice.
I have eaten it. I ordered it, ate it and I was like “idk what I was expecting” because it was literally just beans on toast.
IMO it’s pretty mid but if you like it keep enjoying it.
It’s baked beans from a can, right?
NO! It’s not just baked beans from a can, you heathen!
It’s on toast.
I hate canned toast.
I’m willing to try it. They did fish and chips right. I’m a white dude of mostly Scottish decent. It’s probably right up my alley.
Fish and Chips is one of the great culinary masterpieces, and so perfectly, elegantly simple, like Italian Red Sauce. I’ll give the Brits full credit on that one.
Except it’s a Spanish dish from Sephardic Jews . . .
I’m a white dude of mostly Scottish decent
Meaning your great-great-grandfather looked at Scotland at some point in his life. I will never understand the American intense desire to be something other than what they are. You’re American and that’s fine for the most part You’re not anything else. Culture is culture, if you don’t brought up in it you’re not part of it.
You just used, “No true Scotsman…” in its original usage.
My parents took a DNA test and that’s what it said, so I didn’t mean to offend you.
I hope whatever is upsetting you so much passes, amigo. Chill out. No one cares.
I believe so. People seem to love Heinz beans in sauce
Thats a poor representation but honestly its a fucking delicacy when done right.
yeah. i want some beans on toast now. with a good strip of bacon on the side. and the good toast, not that shit potato bread whats been in the freezer. fuck me in the ribhole with a kneephallus i could really go for one of those good beans on toasts.
England has shown itself completely incapable of self-governance.
For its own good, it should be occupied by Ireland (for historic reasons) and Mexico (to stop their ongoing abuse of beans).
England has shown itself completely incapable of self-governance.
I think even England would agree
should be occupied by Ireland (for historic reasons)
As a Scot and fellow Celt I say have at it.
and Mexico (to stop their ongoing abuse of beans).
I wasn’t aware Mexico were considered the authority on beans. But yeah fine. As long as I can still enjoy beans on toast I dont have a problem.
Mijo, they will teach you that you don’t have to live like that - you can have beans so good they don’t need bread on them, or served in a tortilla with cheese and salsa.
Somewhere, many years back, I read that an alternative to British beans on toast is spaghetti-os on toast. I have no idea if this is true, but I have to say: it has always sounded delicious, but I’ve never bothered to try and make it.
Spaghetti with a side of Garlic Texas Toast is fucking amazing.
Spaghetti sandwich on garlic bread is good.
I thought I invented that while high!
What the fuck is that??? Gimme some!
The bread and pasta is redundant. That’s fucking gross, and you should know that.
I don’t know, loading up some spaghetti on a piece of garlic bread is pretty delicious
Same reason that the chip butty is a crime against all that is holy
Redundant carbs is the cornerstone of British working class food culture. The pinnacle of this practice is the legendary glaswegian macaroni pie on a roll.
Is that a macaroni sandwich?
Yes in a way, but so much more! A macaroni pie is macaroni cheese filling in a pastry case (usually a single serving size that fits comfortably in a hand). Pie and roll is a delightfully Scottish way of eating a pie. You get a pie, and a buttered bread roll, and you put the pie in the roll, maybe with a bit of sauce (we enjoy red sauce and brown sauce in Scotland), and let nature take it’s course.
I’ve never been so glad my ancestors left Glasgow till hearing this. You poor bastards.
Yeah it’s the bread and pasta combo that’s gross, not the Spaghetti-Os, or that horrifying “sauce.”
I’ve done both. The beans add that extra texture goodness.
I wonder if that’s what Beyoncé really meant when she was going on about putting a ring on it
Anyway ahe’s a keeper
So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman’s entrance and have her lick me yardballs!
I’m not into anal, but “in me arse” actually sounds hot on a word level.
Would
Someone at Heinz is a genius
Serving me this definitely getting ya stabbed
Yeah this is definitely getting eaten.
Yeah, I’m scrampin ts down
In her usual U.S. Pacific North-West accent: “I… don’t know where that came from.”
Barac Obama is SCARED of me, because I don’t hoard knowledge and I spit it for free
WTF is a pnw accent
It comes out in the warsh
The only person I know who says that is from the Northeast I’d never heard that as a pnw thing
An accent from the PNW
Exactly.
What’s the Pacific Northwest accent? Bland?
We (I) prefer ‘neutral’, but yes.
Just don’t lump us in with Californians, or we (I) will just start talking to you in the valley girl / infuencer accent, derisively.
Also don’t mind the royal we, its just normal for us to all be this immensely conceited.
Ok, just checking as a fellow PNWesterner who feels like we sound bland or sure “neutral” if you wish while all other US accents sound pretty interesting and unique. I can’t think of a single thing genuinely unique to PNW accent, personally. I lived in the South for a while, so I’m very familiar with the wide variety of accents down there, and we just don’t have any real depth of variety of that sort I feel. Maybe I’m wrong, I haven’t hung out everywhere in the PNW.
No, you’re right, we are essentially the… linguistic evolution end point of American English… the type O- blood of American accents, if you will.
Basically everyone can understand us, but we will have trouble accepting meaning transfusions from non type O- speakers.
As far as ‘unique’ things… well basically, my vote for most unique thing would be for the intonation patterns we use, or more accurately, basically the lack of them.
We tend to just stress all words in a sentence very close to the same, monotone.
We tend to have (at least what others call) falling intonation at the end of a sentence, that can make it so people don’t recognize questions… as questions.
Because they’re often expecting a tonal shift at the end of a sentence, or some other tonal pattern, as a cue that indicates a question is being asked.
Which is the opposite from a Californian, who do rising intonation on even non questions, which acts as the easiest giveaway that a transplant is in fact a transplant, beyond them having no clue how to pronounce most local place names, or referring to ‘I5’ as ‘the 5’.
Yall have a lot of verbal ticks, so many PNWers end a large proportion of sentences with “ya know”
Huh? You mean the Midwest?
Naw it’s something I’ve noticed from many native Washington’s ever since I’ve moved here, there is some bleed from the Midwest in my experience so maybe that’s where it comes from originally
Yeah, I’m with trackball_fetish, that’s not really a PNW thing as much as it is a Midwest thing.
Now, in many ways, the PNW accent is a kind of… less exciting version of the Midwest accent, watered down Midwest.
The only time I can remember PNW people using ‘ya know’, its either because they just actually are from the Midwest, or they are intentionally trying to sound folksy.
A good portion of the PNW was originally settled (cough colonized) by… basically originally Germans and Nordics who moved from the East Coast to approximately Minnesota, but then moved even further east to basically either Portland or Seattle.
… maybe you could say ‘ya know’ is part of the rural/eastern PNW accent, as the sparser areas of the PNW today tend to be more affordable for a Midwesterner to move to, just by way of economics, relative cost of living.
All that being said, I would be interested in other verbal tics you’ve observed PNWers to have.
One tic I know I have is saying ‘like’ far too often when I’m basically exasperated, like, what am I even doing?
But, because I’m not Californian, I intone ‘like’ with much less emphasis, in a monotone way.
‘Like’ is definitely over used out here but not the same as the Cali one, I can usually pick out Californians in Washington… partially because as a southerner they recognize another person who is aggressively talkative to strangers.
I actually do agree with your take that PNW accent a restrained Midwest accent which actually tracks pretty well. And just to be clear I don’t mean “dontcha know” or “don’t ya know” that is Midwestern as hell, what I mean specifically is y’all tend to add “ya know” to the end a lot of sentences”. When I first pointed out to my best friend, who grew up out here, she sent me a text later that night saying, “Fuck you I hear it everywhere now, ya know”
The other big one that comes to mind is “pre-funk” which is apparently just slang for pre-gaming but I’d never heard it in the south or northeast
linguistic evolution end point of American English
if the accents start at pacific northwest and end up adapting to whatever regionalised version they end up being, doesn’t that make you the evolutionary source of american english?
No, its the opposite.
PNW accent is basically what happens if a whole bunch of Americans with originally different accents from different regions all try to cross the great divide either by wagon or train, to find either farmland or a ticket to the Alaska gold rush…
And then everybody who isn’t dead after the attempt more or less averages out their accents into a rough middleground.
Some linguistic evolution has been going on since then, beyond that, but thats what I mean by end point; the PNW was the literal geographic last stop on the physical colonization of the contiguous US.
Only thing that might be more ‘final’ than that would maybe I guess be Alaska, but I do not know much about an Alaskan accent.
ah ok, so PNW was basically battle royale and the final form that got all the distinct pieces of accents smeared into their final form. thank you for correcting me
y’all know there’s more of the state than LA, right?
Yeah, been through and around the state a few times.
The Redwoods are… just absolutely stunning, and thats coming from an Olympic / Hoh Rainforest stan.
Pacific Coast Highway is incredible as well.
San Fran’s gotta be the only city in the English speaking world that is more hilly than Seattle, fuck.
I remember driving south on I5 and just… actually seeing endless strawberry fields, not long after I’d discovered the Beatles, lol.
On another trip, I somehow ended up on Rodeo drive… not long after discovering Rage Against the Machine.
… maybe you could say I’ve had a very Lynchian experience of California.
out of curiosity where were the strawberry fields on I5? i ask out of professional eating curiosity and hunger and I was planning on going to watsonville for their strawberry festival this year but the fields you mentioned might be closer to me and maybe i can go to theirs too. doesn’t woodland have a strawberry festival too? i might be able to con my wife into a third or fourth strawberry festival to fill up our rumtopf this year :3 but i want to find blackberry and raspberry festivals (without having to go to utah i know a great raspberry source in utah but i sure as fuck am not going to utah for raspberries for rumtopf. maybe they will ship.) for the rum buckets as well.
White bread.
It came from BookTok.
Tiocfaidh ár lá !
Ach ní inniu é.
