I figured a close stereotype for men, would be that they should all be farmers. The thing is, there are under two million farmers in the US as of 2023. So statistically, an equivalent occupation/role should have a larger number.

  • Riskable@programming.dev
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    7 months ago

    Men shouldn’t be allowed near children that aren’t their own. It’s rarely stated but regularly assumed.

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        7 months ago

        My daughter is a very different skin colour than me. Somehow the worst I’ve encountered to date is an uppity mother who thought I was telling off a random child.

    • waz@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I think you were implying something different, but I feel like I get a ton of odd comments suggesting it’s weird for me to be out with my own kid. Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.

      I had friends complain about this kind of thing before I had kids and I thought that they were exaggerating. Nope, it’s all over the place. It’s certainly not everyone, but it is much more common than I expected.

      • exanime@lemmy.today
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        7 months ago

        Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.

        I always hated the “are you babysitting?”

        Like NO! These are my fucking kids, I don’t babysit them, I’m parenting

    • SurpriZe@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      I’m 33 and never seen this IRL. Weird. Only heard people mention it online. Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.

      • exanime@lemmy.today
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        7 months ago

        Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.

        By all means, take your own experience into account but don’t fall for this fallacy…

        By you own logic, murder must be a myth because it hasn’t happened to you

      • otp@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        It’s likely a cultural thing. I’ve noticed it in urban Canada, myself.

        A man smiling at a child who looks at him will get glares or weird looks from the parent. A woman smiling at a child who looks at her will be nothing out of the ordinary. The same man is “allowed” to smile at children if he’s with a woman and/or a kid of his own.

      • waz@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Before I had a kid, I heard this was a thing, but didn’t really care as I didn’t really have a desire to be around kids. Once I became a father, I realized a lot of people make strange assumptions about men around small humans. Its certainly not most people, but definitely some, and definitely not just online.

  • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    “Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” transcribes to “Men should be shirtless and mentally ill in the garage.”

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      As a millennial, if I could afford a house, I PROMISE you I wouldn’t also be able to afford mental health treatments, or a shirt.

      So this tracks…if I could get a house.

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          7 months ago

          You are going to be the best uncle that nobody trusts their kid with after what happened last time they had you watch their house. You have an important role in the community, selling illegal fireworks to bored teens.

        • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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          7 months ago

          Honestly, if you’re a millenial in this economy something is wrong with you if you aren’t at least a little crazy.

          The stress is fucking unreal.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Clearly you just need to be a man and work harder and more hours, at the expense of your mental health, to be a better provider because that is your only value to your family. The more emotionally shut-off and weekday war-torn you are, the better the space in which you can escape work and home stress by self-isolating and self-medicating with alcohol. Your chosen man-cave is totally not a place to hide your emotional breakdowns where you silently sob as you suffer the masculine burdens of building stress and feelings of inadequacy alone. Just remember, communicating your feelings is what women do; men dig their grave faster and deeper because that takes manly strength.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          …with the exception of having a family vs living alone, you just described what my life would be life without medical issues. I mean,it’s still mostly what you said. You just left out the part about not affording to be able to pay medical bills too.

          • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            You made the classic weak feminine male mistake of going to the doctor. A real man never goes to the doctor because you are fine and you just need to be strong and it will go away because it is just a benign affliction. You can’t burden your family with worry or medical debt if you don’t go to the doctor, that’s just science. Weak men are worried about their health before it is too late, strong men fight treatable or curable undiagnosed illnesses until it kills them like a man. Just remember, a real man gets diagnosed before retirement by a coroner.

      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        Honestly, us millenials not having houses is probably a huge win for climate change… if I had the space to setup up a forge and learn metalworking I don’t think I’d be able to resist. “But I can do it in minecraft…”

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          7 months ago

          Oh my god. We’re going to have a story soon where a bunch of 35 year olds buy a vacant plot of land, and then dig downwards. Then they’ll disrupt some plumbing, or cables run underground, or gas pipes. SOMETHING bad will be cut, and when they get questioned, they’ll say they were strip mining for diamonds.

        • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          A “garage” means any space a man can claim as his own to self-isolate and cry quietly in. Be it a garage, basement, shed, or man-cave. As long as he can suffer silently and nobody knows, he is a strong man and every strong man needs his “garage”.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        So long as you are alone, your realized value has the ability to provide for a hypothetical family, and your liver can tank a half a bottle of brown liquor a night without the spins.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Protectors & providers

    It’s one of the worst kind of inequality which women don’t (or rarely) ever examine and question if it’s compatible with modern ideas

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      I don’t know about the provider thing these days but I feel like the protector part still holds true. If you hear a person messing with your door lock in the middle of the night it’s the guys job to go check out on it. Statistically virtually every man is stronger than all women so ofcourse that’s who you send in when there’s a risk for physical altercation.

      • Krudler@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I agree and that’s still poison.

        The idea that when something growling outside the cave has everybody shaking inside, it’s the guy’s job to get a pointed stick and go outside, knees knocking, heart pounding.

        This is not compatible with modern life. Especially if the person scrounging around outside is a meth-addled woman, and I happen to go out in uppercut her.

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      Yup, I have an essential tremor and fucking hate that one. I don’t mind strength based tasks… but if I try and screw in a light bulb I’ll probably crush it accidentally… don’t even get me started on appliances like blenders and shit - in the best case scenario I’ll brick the device… but I’ll probably injur myself.

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      Unpopular opinion: We should. Obviously as someone who builds and fixes things for living I’m a little biased but I do look down on men that lack any handyman skills (and so do many women). I think doing things like being able to change a tire on a car is about the bare minimum a man should know how to do. I’ll cut you some slack if you don’t own a car or a licence.

      • Graphy@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Yeah I think men and women should all have some basic level of repair skills. I feel like somewhere along the line everyone got too afraid to break things or hurt themselves.

      • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Why a man though - why not just a person?

        What is it that means that men ought to be able to do those things, but not women?

        • FreakinSteve@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          All my best workers in shop and on site have been women, hands down. No egos; they listen and learn super-fast; they take great pride in acccomplishment and quality; they don’t tell me how their dad did it or that they’ve “just always done it this way”.

        • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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          7 months ago

          Cause in thier minds why is she not in the kitchen pertpually doing chores. Women aren’t people to them. Took so much effort just to give women the right to vote.

        • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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          7 months ago

          Because in general men are good with things and women are good with people. There’s a good reason the vast majority of construction workers, mechanics and engineers are men and it’s not (only) because women aren’t welcome on those fields.

          • exanime@lemmy.today
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            7 months ago

            Because in general men are good with things and women are good with people.

            Dude, you’ve been thoroughly brainwashed

            There’s a good reason the vast majority of construction workers, mechanics and engineers are men and it’s not (only) because women aren’t welcome on those fields

            …and you double down

            • CapeWearingAeroplane@sopuli.xyz
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              7 months ago

              Check out the actual statistics on what women and men choose an occupations when both people-related and non-people-related jobs are otherwise equal. There’s quite a bit of evidence that men and women tend to prefer occupations in one or the other category.

              Honestly, looking at how different men and women are physically, it is slightly absurd to assume that they are identical psychologically (i.e. have the exact same preference regarding people-oriented vs. technical occupations).

            • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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              7 months ago

              No, you’ve been brainwashed.

              This is how productive your reply was. Are you going to elaborate or you here just to throw shit? Just telling someone they’re wrong isn’t exactly going to make them change their mind about it. Counter the argument - not the person saying it.

              • exanime@lemmy.today
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                7 months ago

                I don’t care if you change your mind… You are likely too far gone to think anything but man=labour, women=feels

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            7 months ago

            I think that’s a massive over-generalisation to be honest. Women are just as capable at any of those things.

            I’m not sure why you would want to look down on people who don’t know how to do a thing, but at least do it equally.

            • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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              7 months ago

              Ofcourse it’s a generalization. I’m speaking of all men and women as groups. This isn’t about individuals.

              If you pick random 100 men and random 100 women from the population and give them the task of building/fixing something the men are going to perform better every single time.

      • GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I’m a little biased but I do look down on men that lack any handyman skills

        That is a lot biased to the point that you can’t even see that other men’s lives may have put them in a position of not learning those things or even wanting to learn those things. It’s great that you know how to do those things but just because someone has a penis doesn’t mean they have to learn how to be handy. That doesn’t make them any less of a man, just different from you.

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      7 months ago

      Aside… as a technical expert, can I just mention that the fact that we envision it as a “corporate ladder” is the biggest fucking load of bullshit?

      I can confidently state that I’m much more competent than my fucking CEO.

  • The Menemen!@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    That every man has to be a breadearner, a handyman and be able to physically defend their home&family.

    • RippleEffect@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      Anecdotal, being from Louisiana, this is what I’ve been pressured with my entire life.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Men should be the breadwinners, men should be the one to ask the woman out, men should pay for the first date, men have to be the ones who propose, men should be 6 feet tall… It sucks especially if you’re an introvert, shy, and nobody ever explained this shit to you as a teenager. Therapy ftw.

  • lemmyng@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    Men not being allowed to be emotionally expressive has led to so many mental health problems…

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    7 months ago

    The most direct I can think of is that men should be the sole breadwinner of their family, and that if his wife earns more than him (or even has a job at all) then that’s some kind of failing on his part.

    There are many other similar stereotypes. For example:

    That men have an obligation to defend their/their significant other’s ‘honor’ with violence.

    That men shouldn’t cry or otherwise show strong emotion under nearly any circumstance.

    Men shouldn’t want to interact with children, especially other people’s kids.

    I can go on all day.

    • Allero@lemmy.today
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      7 months ago

      This last one rarely gets mentioned, but it is very real

      Kids are passionate, curious, and energetic. There’s a lot we as adults may learn from them, and playing with them brings me a lot of joy and also reminds me of simple and magical times of my own childhood.

      Doesn’t mean I’m a child predator or something.

      Somehow society created an expectation that men do not care for children, and then the same society wonders why there are so little genuinely attentive and great dads. Like, make up your mind.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    Have to be a raging bull of testosterone and manly interests while also being a round the clock worker to be a breadwinner and also being a father figure to any children in your life on demand