A professional painter told me once: I won’t start painting until your wife is okay with the color samples. Then he proceeded to paint 3 different color tones and brush patterns. She made the choice. When the painter was done, she still didn’t like it but didn’t dare tell him herself… Of course the whole shit was painted again in plain white a few years later.
I’ve been married a long time. The secret is that I never make any decisions. But even with that half the time I still get blamed when something fucks up
I got blamed for a hair that was found in food. I’m bald. 😬😬😬
Yeah, but are you bald everywhere? (Sorry)
LOL. Not bald but my hair is black and her’s is blonde. But a few times a stray blonde hair was found and of course it was mine.
only half the time? You are married for less than 25 years!
lol wife bad AMIRITE GUISE???
Who teach the boomers about lemmy?
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LOL. Can’t tell you how many times I sat there shaking my head as yet again I am blamed for something that I explicitly said I don’t care about. And you decide because I have no opinion.
Could it be because decision making is hard and you end up telling your partner that you a) don’t care about what they care about b) leave them hanging when they might need help to decide c) they end up having decision fatigue because you don’t have an opinion? Sometimes, a consultation or just a talk about something one tries to make a decision on feels good, doing it all by yourself sucks.
Let’s say you don’t care what hotel she books. She ends up doing all the research on hotels. Presents you with it, pros and cons. You still say you don’t care. Ok, so now the burden of choice is solely on her. You guys arrive, the hotel sucks. Can’t you see that this is frustrating in a different way than if the two of you decided on the hotel together?
Your example ends with the man realizing that he actually did care about the hotel when in reality he would have probably said something like “oh well, we’re only going to be here a few hours and we’ll be unconscious for most of them”. That is what it means when someone says they don’t care. They’re not hiding their true feelings from you just to be annoying.
If you are tired of making decisions tell the other person to book the hotel. Most laid back people will be fine with that. Just don’t complain if that ends with you not getting what you wanted.
I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it’s vague in that sentence - no, I don’t mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn’t care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.
Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like “honey, it’s ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don’t think it’s bad at all”, but just be like “look, it doesn’t matter, we’ll just sleep here”. Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.
The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don’t care about. But saying “I don’t care about the outcome of something that you care about” is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.
Your example ends with her upset, with nobody to blame but herself and nobody to commiserate with, while her husband is taking it easy and refusing to empathise.
Being content despite less than ideal circumstances is not a character flaw. Deferring to a partner with stronger preferences is not laziness. Stop conflating actions you don’t understand with bad behavior.
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Nature giving women higher color perceptiveness than men but also chronic indecisiveness is a cosmic joke.
Well, those are two totally different finishes. One is gloss or semi-gloss, and the other is matte.
semi-gloss
Oh my fucking god the word is “satin” are you fucking insane that’s it I’m staying at my mum’s tonight
Semi-gloss is shinier than satin and less shiny than gloss.
Gloss/high gloss/glossy
Semi-gloss
Satin
Eggshell
Flat
Isn’t it eggshell? 🤔
The bone, beige, ivory, cream, off-white…
Marvellous colour that, really a super colour
Eggshell is a semigloss texture, not a colour
Don’t forget to take the kids to your sisters.
The undertones and finish on the swatch card are completely different to what is on the wall.
I see a warm pinky peach undertone and a satin matte finish on the card. The wall has a cool blue green undertone and a semi gloss/satin finish.
A whole wall in the colour and finish on the swatch card will reflect light in a very different way to what the current colour does and have a much nicer ambience for a home.
The ten of us that can tell the difference might as well be screaming in to the void my similarly photosensitive friend.
My wife can’t see the difference in the colors of the lights on the Christmas tree, and bought two different brands. There’s not enough of either brand to sufficiently light the tree so I have to get creative with the cooler lights.
Drives me absolutely NUTS.
Ooph, that would irk me too. Maybe buy a few more sets of lights from those same brands you already have (or even several yet again different brands), and try to wind them around the tree in a way that makes the mismatching look intentional?
I put the cooler ones on the inside, warmer ones on the outside. Harder to tell. I end up only using a few strands of the annoyingly cool lights and it makes the tree look brighter without being able to see the dramatic difference in color.
That sounds rather pretty!
She’s right. It fits the room way better.
I mean, the current paint is ugly. From a practical standpoint, it may be nice but people need a bit more confort at home than at work or in a classroom.
I would say to run, but you’re already married. I get myself out of painting by continuously - and I have to do it all the time because I also run a nonprofit where people are always insane about paint colors - I just say color isn’t my thing, I delegate color selection to one person (I’d suggest OPs wife) and I don’t get involved or help. If someone doesn’t like a color, they know who to talk to. And even if they want help I just remind them I don’t care about color and to ask someone who cares to help.
I actually do care, but I disagree with everyone around me so this is just a way of picking my battles. I have chosen not to care about color only because it saves me time and energy.
Big same. “Yeah I’m colorblind so you don’t really want my opinion on this” when they’re debating shades of purple, and they never have to know I just can’t see green on top of red.
boomer humor noises
Hey man, Noone plans on their partner having a pathological obsession with the hundreds of shades and finishes of “white”
Be it paint or something else, prepare yourself to be completely confused and frustrated and decide its not worth arguing about because you love them. I wish I could help, but over the years I have never figured out what to say to help her make her decisions. Best to say little and listen a lot.
My wife didn’t like the color of the wall, so she sent me to get this color instead
Why is their wife unhappy with the color?
Why did she send her partner to get a different color?
Why did their wife send someone who cannot tell the difference? Why is that a laughing track?
This does not seem like it is about shade at all. It seems to be more about years of failed communication.
Or this is all fabricated and just a person making stuff up for laughing about shades of white they found in a paint shop.
Clearly a different color.
You are absolutely right. And another one with cold led light. Plus another one with direct sunlight. Plus two more when he holds the card horizontally 😆
wife bad.
Wait until she decided the difference btw to graphic card doesn’t matter for your next computer…
It doesn’t matter to you but it may be a very important matter to her.wrong again: paint bad 😜
Is that color named “Susan Collins”??
Too much jpeg. I think it’s Sherman Williams Sunny Cthulu
I actually had a very similar situation. After painting the same wall three times in three different colours I told her to fuck off and painted it white.
The verbiage you need is … “I’m telling you right now that I don’t care. Whatever choice you make is fine with me. Can we agree that this choice is yours and if it fucks up I hold no blame. I will not blame you for your choice because as I said I don’t care.” This of course applies to both men and women.
Yeah but then you still have to paint it again because she doesn’t like it.
Didn’t learn to paint a sample section first?
I did, made no difference. Large surface looks different.
You are a very patient person, i would refuse the first time. I’m sure she apreciates you and was thankful to be with someone who can bear with her, and did not get silent treatment.
She was actually quite ok with that after a few minutes. I think she realised it was getting silly.
fyi, “Agreeable Gray” is the best shade of white, i like the satin finish so it’s easy to wipe off kid stains and fingerprints etc
A.k.a. millennial grey. I have several rooms this color.
If you’re looking for something warmer, go with Panda White.
I mean, they do look slightly different when you place one next to another, but if you paint 2 pieces of wood in those colors and ask sb to tell which one is which (or which they happen to like better this instant) showing 'em one at a time, I doubt the probability of 'em getting it right would exceed that when choosing randomly. So, they’re effectively the same.
My sister sells rugs and my brother-in-law paints cars, there’s people like this out in the world, and no not consistently women.
