KittiesAreCute!
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month

lemmy.world

message-square
63
link
fedilink
800

Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month

lemmy.world

Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
message-square
63
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • RedditWanderer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    68
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    5$ of mesh is an option.

    • Mr Fish@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      1 year ago

      <2$ of large keyring is an option

      • BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Stealing a doormat is also an option.

        • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          11
          ·
          1 year ago

          That’s how you get a turd on your doorknob from a neighbor

          • melpomenesclevage@lemm.eeBanned
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            1 year ago

            So steal near a friends house.

            • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              Or don’t be a piece of shit

              • kase@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                1 year ago

                Not an option, sorry :p

              • melpomenesclevage@lemm.eeBanned
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                1 year ago

                Try growing a sense of humor. Or killing your masters.

      • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        Then $40 for sexy cargo pants to hold your giant keyring.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    48
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think the real question here is wtf kind of crazy doorknob is that?!?!?

    • Raptor_007@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      31
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’m betting this is less of a knob and more of an immobile handle.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        1 year ago

        You’d be correct, my front door works similarly (minus the key-swallower under it).

      • cm0002@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        That just makes this even more evil lol

        • onion@feddit.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          How so

      • ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕪@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        Yes, I have exactly this door handle and it does not move.

      • nodiet@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        What’s the difference? (Asking as a non-native English speaker)

        • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          The key opens what is basically a deadbolt, and the only actual latch for the door.

          The “knob” isn’t so much a knob, but a stationary/fixed handle for pulling the door.

        • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          Ελληνικά
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Door knob can be twisted to open the door. Door handle is static (it doesn’t twist or move) it’s just a convenient place to grab the door.

    • Madison420@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      90° rotated robotic horse penis and it. Is. A. Fan. Of. Yoooohooouuuu!

    • JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      Small pistol grip, John woo style.

  • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    40
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’d keep the keys attached to a belt or wrists or something. If I lived there long enough, I’d even steal the lid and replace it with something finer…

    • variants@possumpat.io
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      1 year ago

      It’s fine the person in the picture is a pro that can hold the keys like a power puff girl

      • VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Wasn’t there a scene where they discussed how weird their hands were?

        • variants@possumpat.io
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          I think when the professor got turned into one or something and couldn’t pick things up

          • shuzuko@midwest.social
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Opposite - one of the girls got swapped into the professor’s body and couldn’t use his hands because she didn’t know how fingers worked.

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    39
    ·
    1 year ago

    I hate drain holes that appear to go all the way down to bedrock where you can feel heat coming from the earth below. Like it’s the first chapter of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

    • Nasan@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      Guy in front of a no knock raid party gets to confirm the hollow earth theory for himself.

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Wherever he saw a hole he always wanted to know the depth of it. To him this was important.

  • Sagrotan@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless. No. 1 life skill.

    • Carbonizer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 year ago

      Until you drop that down the grate too

    • bruhduh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 year ago

      Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk

    • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      1 year ago

      At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.

      • yuriy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        1 year ago

        You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?

        • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          Ye but the sheds have the worse assa abloys

          • yuriy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            I work at a JEWELERY STORE and ONE of our doors has an assa abloy.

            To be fair the other door opens to a highway, so would-be burglars would have to be ballsy.

            • melpomenesclevage@lemm.eeBanned
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              I don’t even know what continent youre on and I’m already trying to think of how to rob you.

            • Rubanski@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Frogger irl

  • BarqsHasBite@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    1 year ago

    Numpad time.

    • Dessalines@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Those rule. Like why carry around physical secrets unlockers if we don’t need to.

  • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    1 year ago

    Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.

    • knexcar@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?

      • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?

  • boatsnhos931@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    1 year ago

    Look… If you had… one shot… or one opportunity… To open every door you ever wanted… one moment… Would you capture it? Or just let it slip? Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his hands but the keys won’t come out He’s chokin, how? Everybody’s jokin now The clock’s run out, time’s up, over - BLAOW!

  • taanegl@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    1 year ago

    House owner: That’s $499 for a new key.

  • Synapse@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.

    • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      But then you need to carry around a big keychain.

  • MalachaiConstant@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    NO.

    If anyone has a term for this specific phobia, please let me know

    • Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      llllkeyllllphobia. Makes about as much sense as some other phobia names!

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      His palms are sweaty
      Knees weak, arms are heavy…

    • Pickle@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      There isn’t a specific phobia for this situation, however the only one I could think of is trypophobia, which is the fear of clusters of small holes or bumps, and a fear of losing something valuable or important

  • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    1 year ago

    This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.

  • Destide@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    1 year ago

    My partners keys would be safe

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    Folded beach towel is one and done

  • mikezane@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    You could just get a largish key chain accessory.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I think you’d be in gas-station-keyring territory to do the job reliably. How about a hubcap?

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        I prefer those little plastic shovels.

    • Administrator@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      this guy drops (his keys)

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 6.43K users / day
  • 11.1K users / week
  • 16.5K users / month
  • 32.5K users / 6 months
  • 2 local subscribers
  • 31.6K subscribers
  • 14.7K Posts
  • 272K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org