• bob_wiley@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My grandpa died at 93 and would say, “people aren’t meant to live this long.” His wife is now 102, she doesn’t seem too pleased, but has her good days and bad. But she doesn’t remember the good days, so that sucks.

      • lasagna@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        Rather than losing my loved ones, I think I’d be more scared of losing my love for them. Either via a cold heart or dementia.

        • bob_wiley@lemmy.world
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          When you put it like that, yeah, that’s how it’s going. My mom visits often (she has been told that my grandma gets more visits than most, and most don’t get any at all). However, because her mom either doesn’t remember, or doesn’t understand that everyone is trying to help and doing the best they can, she gets upset. She’ll often say how she doesn’t want to live where she’s at and asks why she can’t live with one of them. If people tell her something she doesn’t want to hear, she’ll hang up on them. She says she wants to go home, though I’m not sure where she thinks that is. Her sister took her in for a year or two, but it was too much. She ended up leaving in an ambulance after falling on her 100th birthday. Recently she told my sister she was happy when living at her house, which hurt to hear, but was also not entirely true. I think it’s been hard for everyone, but hardest on my mom… and my sister when she was living there.

          I don’t think her heart is cold, it’s more the dementia stealing all the good times, hurting her ability to understand what’s going on, and her hearing making it difficult to communicate.

          I want her to live forever, but if I’m being really honest, I think everyone will feel a weight off their shoulders when she does pass. We thought it was going to happen a few years ago after a bad fall. We were all at the hospital basically waiting for her to die, as she had a fractured spine and internal bleeding, but no one told her and she wanted to walk again and go home… and that’s exactly what she did. She’s tough as nails and I think she’s too stubborn to die, lol. It’s pretty crazy that a 102 year old lady who’s probably not even 5 feet tall and under 100lbs is the strongest person I’ve known, but it’s true.

        • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Dementia scares me too. I’ve seen it with two people now. It’s like they’re living in dreams all the time. Turn a corner or something changes and it’s a whole different scenario and you don’t know what’s going on.

          I get night terrors. Some dreams seriously feel like they last for days and it’s next to impossible to wake up. Living like that 24/7 at the end of my life sounds horrifying.

    • FarFarAway@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      This. No one realizes that your probably not gonna make it to 100 in perfect health. If your body doesn’t go, it will be your mind. Either way, it does not sound appealing.

      If nothing else, the arthritis has gotten so bad, you wanna off yourself anyways.

      Hard pass.

      • Urbanfox@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m 37 and already broken.

        My back is killing me, the sciatica makes sitting down hard. My ankle is fucked from too many injuries doing shit like tough mudder because when you’re young you’re invincible. Top that off with an immune disorder and asthma and it’ll be a miracle if I make it to 50 with a good quality of life.

        • FarFarAway@startrek.website
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          Dude. Sciatica is the worst. Every once in a while I injure myself and can barely stand for days.

          The only thing that helped was this old, Hispanic “healer man”, that massaged the nerve back into place. It’s not like woo woo healing and its not an actual massage. This man just knew anatomy really well and could feel everything out by touch alone. It took 15 mins and I was pain-free, although I had to go back a few times until it set. Hiking helped the muscles get strong enough to keep it in place.

          I’ve gone to several other people that say they do similar things, including ones near the boarder, but they’ve never been able to fix it. Western Doctors were completely useless, they couldn’t even diagnose me properly. The next closest thing would probably be a sports massage therapist.

          This man was apparently known far and wide, with people comming from other states to see him. Any one in my local hispanic community i mentioned it to, was familiar with him.

          Sadly, he was old and stopped working his magic around the time covid started, due to him and his wife’s, unrelated, ailing health. I’ve been searching for someone else ever since. I’m sure there are others like him, there are definitely imitations. I have to assume someone else has excelled at this practice, and this old man wasnt just a one off.

          If you have any contacts in the hispanic community, that may know of someone like him, I’d say it’s definitely worth a shot to at least ask around.

      • Ser Salty@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        I don’t wanna get to the point where it seems miserable just to, like, walk or something. I don’t mind taking heart medication, walking with a cane, stuff like that, but I don’t wanna live in near constant agony just trying to get through the day.

    • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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      We should be building a society where the concept of retiring is alien because the entire point of living isn’t to work.

      • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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        1 year ago

        because the entire point of living isn’t to work.

        But the point of living is simply to survive and procreate. There’s no innate requirement of “living” to be not working… we worked hard for thousands of years just killing things to eat.

        • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          It is. We are chasing an egregore all the while destroying our planet. We need a mentality change, one that realizes we never removed ourselves from the same rat race for survival the rest of the life on this planet is in. We act like we are above our ecosystems, we are not. If our main focus was something else besides money, we might make it. But if we are only chasing the dragon, we will follow it to our deaths.

      • electrogamerman@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        That is almost impossible. Even if we had machines and robots, there will always be the necessity for people to work

        • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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          I didn’t say nobody would have to work. I said that working shouldn’t be the point of life. This mentality that we are all stuck in should not be the defacto modus operandi of our society. What is the purpose of all of this if not to set us free from the mundane? What is the point of any of this if it is not to square the circle? Might as well have never climbed down from the trees if we are not reaching for infinity.

            • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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              No shit, but at one point we are gonna have to stop extorting each other to work. At some point our society is going to have to actually care for us. So we can stop producing people who seek money and start producing people who advance our species.

        • Kage520@lemmy.world
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          Do you mean this as in robots cannot do it all? Because I’m pretty sure they soon will be able to. Or do you mean it in that humans need challenges to make their lives feel complete? Because I would agree with that.

            • Kage520@lemmy.world
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              For awhile they will. But still, that would mean one engineer could handle several restaurants, for example. We won’t have nearly enough jobs for all the people, unless we invent some busy work. Maybe that’s what pumping gas jobs in certain states always has been though 🤔.

        • Deca@lemmy.world
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          Pretty good. My mum’s living in Shanghai (most populous city in China) and has been a pensioner for 20 years. It’s enough money to get by and now that she’s 70 she also receives monthly coupons for her neighbourhood canteen (although food is already very cheap)

        • Cyborganism@lemmy.ca
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          Unsustainable??? Have you seen how many people there is in China? They could probably retire at 30 and still have enough people to fill in the jobs.

          • LaurelRerun@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            China has a bad ratio of young people to old people. They have a lot of people, but as the population ages there will be fewer working people supporting more retired people. It’s not just about money either. There are a finite number of nurses or caretakers in a country at any given time, so it will mean higher ratio of people needing care to those able to give it. It’s a complex issue that almost every country is going to be dealing with more in the future, but China will probably feel it more than average.

            • Deca@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Keep in mind China has a much tighter family structure where children look after their elderly parents (and often live under the same roof), and in return grandparents provide free childcare so both parents are able to work full time. Nursing homes are not incredibly common but it might become a bigger problem as more and more young people move away from their family in the countryside to work in the bigger cities.

        • MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml
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          Oof. Check out what retirement ages were in the USSR. They were very similar to China with options to retire earlier if you worked more physically demanding jobs.

          Turns out retirement ages in the imperial core have always been worse and since there is no big bad red to be scared of, the capitalists don’t feel the need to make the same kind of concessions they needed to make to prevent similar uprisings in their country in the past.

          Your life is being stolen from you for someone else’s profit. It will always be this way under a capitalist system.

          • SCB@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            imperial core

            How does this not describe the USSR and China? Two literal empires that increased expansionist policies after going communist?

            • MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml
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              How many countries have Russia and China, combined, bombed in the last 10 years?

              How many countries has the US alone bombed in the last 10 years?

              It’s a shame you don’t really wonder why people don’t describe Russia or China as part of the imperial core, because if you bothered to engage in arguments in good faith, maybe you could finally get the taste of boot off your tongue.

    • Librechad@lemmy.world
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      I mean it depends on what you want to do in life, some people live for flipping burgers, others live for going to the moon.

      • MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml
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        People love to have something to live for, but they end up making work their personalities because they have no time or energy for anything else. Turns out if you give people time to actually build a life, they don’t want to go to work constantly.

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      You can retire at any age you want lol. Most people didn’t live in their means nor did they save for retirement starting at 18/22. This was possible 30 years ago. These days? Not so much.

      It doesn’t mean you can’t leverage it way better than most though. Starting a Roth IRA saves more money than even paying off your house loan in half the time. That’s saving an extra $70,000 for most. Putting into retirement early triples that lol.

      Compound interest via stock/bonds is a bullshit money generating hack made up by rich people to get richer though. The poors literally get their dregs from riding on their coattails then acting like they invested well. Nobody wants to admit that you should be able to retire indefinitely by what amounts to hoarding above a certain dollar threshold though lol.

      • MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml
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        Is it really just a simple matter of living within your means when you are constantly bombarded with the idea that you are inferior for not having that shiny new thing and banks are constantly trying to push you into predatory debt schemes like credit cards?

        At that point, I don’t blame people for not having a retirement fund. This is a systemic problem, not an individual failure and we should look at changing those systemic failures rather than pointing the finger at people and saying, “you fell for our bullshit and now you are poor. Shame on you!”

        • SCB@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Tell me you have bad credit and a spending problem without telling me you have bad credit and a spending problem

      • Cyborganism@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        I just want wages to increase to a point where people with a decent education can afford a home without any major financial stress.

        It’s not normal to have professionals with bachelor’s degrees not being able to afford a home.

  • vsis@feddit.cl
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    1 year ago

    middle aged would be around 36.

    I didn’t come here to be insulted.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    According to my kids:

    0-30 is young.

    31-60 is middle aged.

    61-90 is old.

    Over 90 is fucking old.

    • nxfsi@lemmy.world
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      How fucking old are your kids for them to say that? Real kids would definitely say that 25 is approaching retirement age.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        Youngest is 17, oldest is 31. But it was the younger ones when they were around 10 - I think they were just mathematically calculating the middle third. I’m almost in their “old” category now and think that because (fit) people are aging more slowly than past generations middle age is stretching out, if you are defining it as able bodied and working. That stretches it to like 75 for some people. I don’t think over 30 is “young” though, so if there are only 3 categories it’s middle aged, and no way is 75 not old, if you are fit, healthy, and working at that age you are a fit old person.

        And who can’t rock a bikini at 30? WTF, where do you live?

        • ZzyzxRoad@lemm.ee
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          And who can’t rock a bikini at 30? WTF, where do you live?

          Yeah, wtf are these comments saying “many people have been nursing back problems for years by their 30th birthday” lmfao. Like what world do they live in? Realistically though, they’re probably 12 and think 30 is ancient.

          • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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            Different generation. My dads generation had 8 kids and more banned chemicals plus decades of being hit by cars and falling out of trucks.

      • keyez@lemmy.world
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        Same, even when I was in Jr High I thought people about to graduate college were old and may well be middle aged compared to me.

    • Beefalo@midwest.social
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      The whole point of calling somebody “middle-aged” is that they’re in that indeterminate space where they definitely aren’t young anymore, but they aren’t like, old, old, yet, basically they’re still able-bodied enough to hold down a job.

      Not one. Not the other. Somewhere in the middle. Middle-aged.

      30 isn’t so old, but it depends hard on the person in question, some are still in great shape, but many 30-year-olds have been nursing a back problem and/or jacked knees for years by the time the birthday comes, they sure as hell don’t feel young. Some 30s haven’t had kids yet, some of them have kids in middle school. So that averages out, and we onboard you to this shitty party at 30. If you can still rock the swimwear at 30, do it, and don’t take it for granted.

      For the record, we don’t care what children think old is. Children are insane.

    • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      People don’t understand what life expectancy means, specifically because 99% of the time, people are talking about life expectancy at birth. What life expectancy st birth means is that half the babies are going to be dead before X years (in the case of OP picture that mean half are going to die before reaching 73 yo), so yeah, the majority of people is going to be 50 yo at some point of their life.

  • tallwookie@lemmy.world
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    eh, you’re free to retire in your mid 30s. it’s easy. i retired in my late 30s, then went back to work again when I ran out of money a few years later. it was nice, i look forward to retiring again.

      • tallwookie@lemmy.world
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        oh no, my job was offshored by IBM - I decided I wasnt going to work anymore and did that for a few years. then I ran low on funds and found a new job. I could quit now & do the same thing for a few years but I’ve got a different plan this time around, it’ll drastically reduce my monthly expenditures allowing my next “retirement” to much longer - possibly permanent.

    • Kage520@lemmy.world
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      Dude it is NOT easy to make enough to retire in your 30s. Congratulations to you for even making it a few years. That’s a huge accomplishment. But saying it’s easy is a bit unfair to those who are not able to make that kind of income.

      Saying this as someone who also plans to retire before I turn 40, and I DO have an income advantage. It has been very difficult even still.

        • Kage520@lemmy.world
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          Close to $2M, but I care more about dividend income than the current stock market prices. If I can survive on dividends from VTSAX then I’m good.

            • Kage520@lemmy.world
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              Not at all. These are normal questions, especially from r/financialindependence back from Reddit. South Florida but I bought my house and homesteaded it (locks the property taxes to no more than 3% increase per year) before the value doubled. Home is paid off. No other debt anymore. I can and have spent as little as $25k per year, to as much as $40k per year. This only represents my half of expenses though. My wife has her own fire plans.

              • NewNewAccount@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Legend. You should be proud of yourself. Not sure where I’m heading but FIRE or a lean FIRE is one of the options.

  • Obinice@lemmy.world
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    I’ve never heard anybody suggest that 50 is middle aged, usually it’s traditionally been 30, or nowadays with life expectancies being higher, 36 is spot on.

    Anyway, we’re all going to work until we’re dead, to keep the rich ruling class fed. There’s no escape.

  • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch
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    Uhm, retirement was invented for the elderly who can’t really work on the fields/processing plants anymore. Work changed and people got older since then.

    • 80085@lemmy.world
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      Most people still work manual labor jobs. Cognitive ability also declines with age. Age discrimination during hiring/recruiting is fairly common (witnessed it at nearly every job I’ve ever had, even though it’s illegal, and I’ve had a lot of jobs). There aren’t enough “bullshit jobs” like Walmart greeter for everybody. Aging population can be solved by permissible immigration (which are comparably younger populations), but there are too many racists and politicians worried about demographic shifts.

      • solstice@lemmy.world
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        I took a year off work recently to detox and had a zero cortisol policy. Lines on my face faded, hair looks great and stopped thinning, came back nicely, lost weight, almost have a six pack for the first time in my life approaching 40. People know how stressful work is but most don’t understand what it’s like to truly live for yourself stress free. I’m super fortunate and grateful for having the opportunity to do that and highly recommend.

        The hardest part about going back to work was reentering that disgusting American corporate culture of toxic optimism. I’m fine with a lot of work and my stress tolerance/management is much better now. But that culture of toxic optimism is hard to handle.

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
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          Yeah I had a genius boss who was an outrageous overworker. Like he didn’t always work on his job but when not he was learning to play guitar, learning languages, always “on”, didn’t sleep much and got more done than most any two regular people could do. Like at work he did the work of 3 people at least. It broke his marriage, his life but he cannot slow down. I actually like him as a person but it’s terrifying.

          On every review I got points from him for “work-life management”, limiting work so that I could do life, be with my kids, SLEEP, exercise, take all my “use it or lose it” PTO, etc. I made myself available for one late day a week and one weekend a month, am not inflexible but not so hyperfocused on work and for some reason he could see this as a good quality in an employee - others in the department tried to meet his insane standards and would burn out. By keeping my boundaries I can be creative, see solutions, not get so deep in that I lose the objectivity.

          You are not a better worker by killing yourself giving too much to work. Not even by the standards of a boss who is killing himself with overwork. Keep your objectivity. Rest, work, exercise, play, rest. Not work hard play hard, no.

          • solstice@lemmy.world
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            Those people are mentally ill. Living in a permanent state of mania or hypomania isn’t normal or healthy. But because they are hyperfocused and sleep only a few hours a night they manage to get themselves into leadership positions and set the tone for literally everyone else. It’s fucked up.

            Setting boundaries is crucial for dealing with these people. I’m so glad my resume and circumstances are strong enough to be able to stand up for myself.