• blindbunny@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    🙄 this is why I only date bisexual women. If I said this to any women I’m in a relationship with she would probably say something like, “fuck you” then peg me while annoying asking if I got the pun.

  • x4740N@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    One of my high school teachers was called miss bussy and I’m not joking about this ethier, that was her actual name

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    Maybe it’s my man brain that’s stupid, but can someone explain to me why “boy pussy” is so offensive that you give him the silent treatment?

    Like, it makes zero sense. Wtf is a “boy pussy” anyways?

    Am I too straight to understand this?

    I don’t want to offend, I genuinely do not understand. Help me out here.

    • Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Disclaimer: this isn’t really my thing, so I have kind of an outsider’s understanding and may be incorrect. I’m sure someone will be happy to correct me if I’m wrong about something.

      Ok, let’s break this down a little. First of all: boy pussy, or “bussy”, is not an actual biological orifice that exists, as you may have guessed. Rather, it’s a slang term meant to convey the metaphorical sexual concept that a male asshole - usually belonging to a sub/bottom or twink (but the term can apply to anyone willing) - has become an erogenous zone, possibly (depending on usage in dirty talk) that it will never again fulfill any other purpose.

      Naturally, since it is a BOY pussy, it’s not something that you would find on a woman, so the man in this story, while having sex with his wife, let slip that he was fantasizing about having sex with someone else. This does not seem to be her issue, as she mentions that they are at least somewhat in an open relationship and so him having sex with another woman would not be out of the question. However, she seems to take offense at the idea that he is fantasizing about having sex with another man, which is not something they would presumably have discussed prior to opening their relationship.

      Hope this clears things up a little. Cheers!

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        7 months ago

        Thank you! For some reason my brain didn’t make the connection between the slag of “bussy” and “boy pussy”.

        Dunno why she would be upset by it in an open relationship, but okay.

        • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 months ago

          I mean, if I was getting fucked by someone and they were actively fantasizing about me being someone else, I would be upset, open relationship or no

          • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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            7 months ago

            Unless that’s a surprise (that he likes men), I’m not sure how much of a problem that would really be.

            But far be it for me to tell anyone what should and shouldn’t upset them.

            • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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              7 months ago

              Even if he likes men, and she knew, being told that you’re thought of as the gender you’re not isn’t something most people want. Calling a girl a dude when they identify as a girl isn’t exactly flattering.

        • RGB3x3@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          I always thought Bussy was a portmanteau of Butthole and Pussy.

          Because I’ve definitely heard people use it in context where I can’t imagine they were talking about a “boy pussy”

          • nomous@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Butt-pussy, boy-pussy, same thing isn’t it? The etymology is slightly different but it has the same meaning, a butthole.

      • nifty@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Okay fr, i think bussy also may refer to intersex vagina. I think sex slang is often described only along heteronormative boundaries and it can get annoying and confusing.

        • Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 months ago

          That’s interesting! I’ve only ever seen it as slang for boy and/or butt pussy. I will fully admit that you’re correct in that these terms tend to fall along the heteronormative gender divide and I try to keep these explanations as gender neutral as possible (though there’s only so much you can do with “boy pussy”), so I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you.

        • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Not sure, you should gather more data. Next time you are with someone keep mentioning a different person. Share your results.

          • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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            7 months ago

            My results would be invalid because I don’t participate in open relationships.

            I don’t have anything against such an arrangement, but I know myself, and knowing that my partner may be out, sleeping with another person would make me a very jealous person; normally, in a closed relationship, unless there is some kind of evidence of infidelity, I’m not jealous at all. I don’t look for such evidence, and I do everything in my power to trust what my partner tells me as truth. My most significant rule in a relationship is that I will not lie to them about anything that matters, nor will I tolerate being lied to about the same. I’m up front about this arrangement with anyone I get involved with.

            I have been in relationships where I’ve been lied to, and I have been in situations where there has been infidelity in the relationship (or at least, evidence it did or will happen). I did not like the person I became. So I tend to avoid situations where I could become that person.

            I have not, nor would I allow myself to be in an open relationship. As such, I do not possess the mental fortitude to deal with my partner having intimate relationships with others. It’s a character flaw that I don’t seem to be able to get over, so I avoid it. Since I am not in an open relationship, it would not be a valid comparison, since there’s factors in the OP that I cannot satisfy, and the results would not reflect a comparible situation.

            All I can say is that I would imagine that in an open relationship, such things would be reacted to differently than in a closed relationship. Since I do not have the requisite experience necessary to know those differences, instead, I asked.

            Instead of a genuine response I get sarcastic and snide replies about “how would you feel?”, when I have no basis for comparison.

            Thanks though.

      • dvoraqs@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Saying “that boy pussy” might not be about another person, so I’m also not sure this should actually be offensive. He might just be thinking about anal sex while he is in a vagina.

        I’m making a big assumption though:

        • women can have a boy pussy since they also have an anus
    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      7 months ago

      I wouldn’t be offended by this, but other phrases about my body might offend me. As an example, the term “man boob” really disgusts me and makes me feel ashamed of my body. My wife knows this. If she said that during an intimate moment it could very well make me upset. It’s hard to know how I’d react in the moment. It could be that he accidentally said “boy pussy” then didn’t apologize or acted like it wasn’t anything wrong. It could be that OOP was already very self conscious about their vagina and having it compared to an asshole (what “boy pussy” usually refers to in cis males) was upsetting.

      Emotions are weird and often don’t make logical sense. It’s less important exactly why something was upsetting and more important to acknowledge that it was upsetting and apologize.

  • rustydomino@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I read the post title as “Busey”, then opened the post, and got really confused as to what Gary Busey had to do with any of this.

    • Sagrotan@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Of you really think about something, somewhere Gary Busey has to do with it. In a weird Busey way, of course, but there is done relation between every single thing in the universe and Gary Busey. Thanks wishes to be him.

  • Sagrotan@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    She should get a strap-on and be happy, that she’s apparently not as floppy as her grandma.

  • HipHoboHarold@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I do have to come to homeboys defense. She heard bussy and though he was picturing a twink. While that’s fine and dandy if that’s what he’s into, maybe he was actually thinking about bears. Sounds like she’s the issue cause she thinks we can only be twinks. My beard says otherwise.

  • Willer@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    and reddit will ban you if you dont take this seriously and clown on this post.

      • Lowlee Kun@feddit.de
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        7 months ago

        Yeah thats why you make sure to NOT talk about your feelings like this “concerned” person. If you have problems in a relationship, it is important to talk to anyone but your partner. Best thing to do is, get some advice from complete strangers who do not know you or your partner and have very limited and skewed information. This way you will surely get the right answers! /s

      • nifty@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I don’t know, seems like that’s the reason he’s into her, that’s how I read it lol

          • nifty@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Look, I get that when someone’s perception of you is incongruent with your self-concept it can create an internal conflict, and perhaps affect your self-esteem. The theory of self-perception is essentially based on these ideas.

            Here’s how I evaluate the situation in this meme, this lady’s vagina may or may not be a bussy but it’s being perceived that way by at least one partner.

            Regardless of the perception of that partner, we don’t know if that lady’s vagina is indeed a bussy, and there’s no way for her to say so herself based on a sample size of 1. So her effective experience is that of someone who has a partner who finds her genitals pleasing, but she’s distorting that experience for herself because of the dissonance between her self-concept of her vagina and whatever her partner thinks that vagina is.

            Essentially tho, if her “bussy” is helping her get sexual attention and gratification, then I fail to see the problem. To me, it’s like saying “yeah I have a cake, but it’s not the cake I thought I had”, and I am like, a cake is a cake. Enjoy it.

              • nifty@lemmy.world
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                7 months ago

                Yes but where is that indicated in the post? It’s only after he says bussy that she’s got an issue. At least that’s what I can tell 🤷‍♀️

                • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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                  7 months ago

                  I think you read the post wrong. This is being posted by a woman. “He” never says he has a bussy. It’s the girlfriend/wife that is upset that her boyfriend/husband was pretending she was a guy, and that her actual pussy was a boys butthole.

                • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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                  7 months ago

                  Buddy, you do realize that the experience of her hearing that comment made the sex bad for her, right? That’s why she’s upset and made the post.

    • clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I don’t understand the problem. Obviously, it’s not for you, but why do you care what other people’s relationships look like when you aren’t a part of it?

      • therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip
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        7 months ago

        Because it’s innately unhealthy, but more specifically I don’t want to be pressured into cheating on my partner or vice versa because it’s become the norm

        • clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          I fail to see how someone else’s private relationship defines yours in any way. This sounds less like you have a problem with other people, and more like you have trust issues, whether towards yourself or towards your own partner. Either way, your relationship has nothing to do with anyone else’s, just like theirs has nothing to do with yours. If you don’t want to cheat on your partner, then don’t cheat on your partner.

    • Zetta@mander.xyz
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      7 months ago

      At what point did the post mention an open relationship? Am I stupid or does it not mention it?